The X wanted me to phyically pay the bills; that is, write the checks, keep checkbook balanced, etc. But I was not allowed to use my own judgement or system. He wanted certain bills paid on certain days of the week/month while I wanted to sit down and pay all bills at one time (providing money to cover all was in the account). I never did get the hang of his superior bill-paying system to his satisfaction. So he started leaving the bills he wanted me to pay on the kitchen table after dinner, expecting them to go out, without fail, in the next day's mail. Naturally, I paid those bills two or three days later than expected/demanded. Finally, he took the job back over and that way he was sure the bills were paid on his own private, superior system. If you get a little hint that he was a bit controlling, right on for every aspect of our marriage, no mater how inconsequential. This went on for 34 years until he left me for a younger married woman with two divorces under her belt. They have separate checking accounts and he pays his bills; she pays hers. They have been married 3 years now after living together for 6. She is manipulative and likes her own way; is never wrong; always right. Now, how has this improved his little, narrow minded world??
to let your husband do all of that for you, or to let anyone other than you do all of that for you. It's so important to get the basic undestanding of finance, check writing, etc under your "belt of talents" as a woman. My mother drove this into me from a very young age. I keep up my own books, even though I barely have time to. I always would have loved to pass this off to a bookkeeper or, my husband, but I'm now glad I didn't. I'm on my own, and can manage it all myself. Take heed ladies, learn it for yourself!
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He micro-managed the finances
The X wanted me to phyically pay the bills; that is, write the checks, keep checkbook balanced, etc. But I was not allowed to use my own judgement or system. He wanted certain bills paid on certain days of the week/month while I wanted to sit down and pay all bills at one time (providing money to cover all was in the account). I never did get the hang of his superior bill-paying system to his satisfaction. So he started leaving the bills he wanted me to pay on the kitchen table after dinner, expecting them to go out, without fail, in the next day's mail. Naturally, I paid those bills two or three days later than expected/demanded. Finally, he took the job back over and that way he was sure the bills were paid on his own private, superior system. If you get a little hint that he was a bit controlling, right on for every aspect of our marriage, no mater how inconsequential. This went on for 34 years until he left me for a younger married woman with two divorces under her belt. They have separate checking accounts and he pays his bills; she pays hers. They have been married 3 years now after living together for 6. She is manipulative and likes her own way; is never wrong; always right. Now, how has this improved his little, narrow minded world??
How dangerous --
to let your husband do all of that for you, or to let anyone other than you do all of that for you. It's so important to get the basic undestanding of finance, check writing, etc under your "belt of talents" as a woman. My mother drove this into me from a very young age. I keep up my own books, even though I barely have time to. I always would have loved to pass this off to a bookkeeper or, my husband, but I'm now glad I didn't. I'm on my own, and can manage it all myself. Take heed ladies, learn it for yourself!