My ex told me from the very beginning of his affair that he had an interest in a woman from work, before sex even came into the picture. So, for 3.5 months I was dragged through his affair while he could not decide what to do. So, one day, he told me he finally had sex with her because I asked him why he had bought a $4 purchase at Wal-Mart in the town where she lived (he never went to Walmart) as I had a feeling they were condoms. He said that he knew when he bought them that he would have sex with her and that I would find out. The period of time also included her calling me repeatedly on my phone, her claiming that she lost her period, my finding his "love letters" to her on his blackberry, his refusal for me to see his phone, him allowing her to do his laundry and take care of our dog, and the list goes. The is worse than a one-night fling as there is so much more "drama" that you have to emotionally and spiritually work through and many more situations, images and emotions that you have to release. I probably still would have divorced the jerk if it had been a one-night fling, but I am glad in a weird way that it was drawn out if he was going to cheat at all because it made it easier to follow through with the divorce and has made it easier to become happier than I have ever been in my life!