firstwivesworld - Leisure and Fun - Comments

Texting Works For Me

Guest — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:02:16 -0400

I love texting. It lets me keep in touch during my days when it's hard to squeeze in phone calls and even harder to get calls where I can speak freely. I have two kids and, until just this weekend, was still living with my ex. It was impossible to speak with my friends and family without Mr. Nosy always there or my kids screaming in the background, how could I even attempt to have a normal conversation with someone I may want a relationship with? Should they be expected to memorize my entire schedule and know that they could call me on my cell phone between the small windows of time when I wasn't at work, on the train or around my ex or kids? It's a tough world and everyone is alot harder to get ahold of nowadays. Texting lets me keep in touch when it fits my crazy schedule. Plus I love hearing that little beep when I get text messages - it cheers me up knowing someone is thinking of me.

communication and passive aggressive...

Guest — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 17:09:44 -0400

Curious if you came out and just told him, confronting the behavior and making clear you do not like it? Or, did you just post it here, say nothing to him and expecting it to change? Not that is it OK, but passive-aggressive behavior is a result of a lack of open communication in a relationship one *both* ends and at least one party stews on the resentment (or caves and encourages the behavior). Be straight, clear, and confront it.

hmmmm....

Guest — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:56:17 -0400

Looks like a great idea. Maybe I should throw one of those for my girlfriend.

this cracked me up.

Guest — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 10:00:08 -0400

thanks!

Clarity

Guest — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:57:43 -0400

I keep seeking some sort of 'clarity'. Not sure exactly when that 'clarity' arrives, but hopefully before I'm EIGHTY!

Ha! Thanks Mom...

Guest — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:06:19 -0400

The only thing that will make it even more like a home will be your next visit! (*hint hint*) I am blessed. In more ways than I can count. Life can be very surprising sometimes, can't it? And I'm happy knowing that you will sleep easier now that I am! (I just love that ripple effect.) Love you!

Sarah, this is your

Guest — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:21:05 -0400

Sarah, this is your Mom.... I am so delighted to see that you have a bed and a new pillow! What a tribute to your friends (specially Lisa and Julie) and Ahmed and all your community at First Wives World for their care and support. I believe this is what FWW is all about and I hope sharing and caring for women in a seperation/divorce event will be cared for as you have been. You are blessed. Needless to say, your MOM is thrilled to see your new appartment becoming your new 'home.'

Wow... you have such amazing friends.

Guest — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:01:44 -0400

I wish I had that kind of support when I was going through my first divorce. My so called "friends" just kind of went missing when my husband and I called it quits. I was too embarassed to throw any kind of party. I didn't really need any "things" but it makes a difference having people around you.

celebrating alone time alone

Guest — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:18:07 -0400

I hear you and it's not easy. But know that you need to focus on yourself now and realize that you have a chance to do / become what you have always wanted to be, it's time to time to follow your dreams. The bubbly helps to relax, and also to unlock what you really want. Go for your dreams, nobody but you can fulfill them - stay focused on them....

Cute segment, Debbie.

Sarah Farthing — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:33:41 -0400

I really enjoyed this one.Tony is adorable! After 9 months of living alone, I have to agree with you on the last question!

Sharon is great

Guest — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:26:22 -0400

Sharon is great. I am so glad to listen to a fashion person who understands where I am coming from and has a sense of humor without being negative or a elitist like they do in those reality shows.

Getting over the loneliness

Guest — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:24:46 -0400

Just when I think I'm starting to get lonely on a solo trip, someone comes along to perk up my day or meal. And, just when I start to feel a bit stifled by a traveling partner, an opportunity arises to step out on my own or to meet new people. Your Greece trip sounds fabulous and I'm sure you'll have a great time together! Beth Whitman www.WanderlustAndLipstick.com

How long is too long?

Wanda Woodard — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:57:11 -0400

Hey, Guest, do not get down on yourself about the "length" of this period. Each phase of moving beyond takes it's own "sour" time. You cannot simply decide that it's time for your mood and television gluttony to be over. People always want to assign time limits to our moods, changes, phases, etc. That's bullshit. Don't assign yourself a time limit. If you are not motivated yet, then you are not motivated yet. You are going to live a long, long life. You'll catch up to positive thinking and energy eventually. It may seem like forever to you, but you'll move to the next phase when your body, soul and mind are ready for you to do so. It's like getting rid of a headache. The more you think about it, the worse it gets. Just let it go. Relax and be a mope. You cannot do what you do not want to do when you're healing and in this particular phase.

But how do you declare the end of this period

Guest — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 23:40:33 -0400

Well I don't drink but I am still mopping with t.v. and food. I know it is normal for a period but it has gone on too long and I just can't get myself to move on. I have tried everything courses new hobbies psychologist and I still can't get myself to get over this stage.

Good for You

elainemarleneforbes — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 00:05:21 -0400

I think reconnecting with you were before your marriage is a good idea. And it is never too late fo fulfill dreams. But I hope you do so using the strengths that come from greater life experiences and with an eye on the future. I have struggled with the idea "Do I try to become the young woman I thought I was intended to be if I hadn't got bogged down in illness and a bad marriage" or do I accept where I am in life and accept my life as it is. A sort of broken down 55 year old. I decided that there is another option to try to become the 55 year old I was intended to be. This might not be the fifty-five year old I would have thought to be. But it doesn't mean that I have to accept where I ended up. A friend asked what I thought the difference is. A friend of mine who I went to school with, got married to her university boyfriend, had a family, a bad marriage and a divorce. She started to start over again. She quit her job, sold her house and travelled around the world. Everyone thought that this was a gutsy and rewarding thing to do which it turned out to be. However this meant that she came back in the position of a twenty six year old without a money or a job but without the youth and health of a twenty-six year old. She has had a rough time. Difficulty finding work, getting bad jobs where she is taken advantage of, drinking too much.. My first thought that this just meant .. in all things moderation. Then I decided maybe her mistake was to try a do-over. Maybe she should have said if I had travelled the world when I was 22 what would I be doing now. Well likely she would have not quit her job but maybe negotiated more time off or job sharing in order to travel more. I know a woman who takes two months off a year to travel for example. Another divorced woman I know regretted that her life was full of study. She envied athletes and people who had been brave enough to take a year off and be a "ski bum" as young people So she took skiing lessons, and tennis lessons and golf lessons not for a year but for ten years. She is a lawyer who works four days a week as a lawyer and two days as a ski instructor during the winter (the other day is for fun skiing) and goes to some ski school to improve her skills for a week every year and a week vacation for fun skiing. . She is always the oldest person in every course she takes and often has to repeat courses. She is on the board of a ski club and a ski association. She meets a lot of her clients through skiing. If she had taken a year off to teach sking at the age of twenty two instead of doing a masters in arts and then a law degree and then a master of laws, she would not be skiing all year now she would be doing much what she is doing now. So what would a person who values cross cultural connection and service do at your stage of life. Take an administrative job at an NGO rather than volunteering in the peace corp? Now I just have to figure out what I would have been like at 55 years if I had made different choices at earlier ages....... I will let you know when I figure it out. It is hard because there are not a lot of precedents ahead of us. But I think it is doable.