firstwivesworld - Sex and Love - Comments

see is one

Guest — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:45:24 -0400

She is one. And a scary one at that

Yes Ladies...it is ourtime

Guest — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:17:07 -0400

I have always been attracted to older men. Now that I am 51 years old, that is changing. I have worked out out all my life, and thanks to good genes, most people guess my age at late 30's. The last two men I dated, my age, needed viagra. Not that I am unsympathetic, but it was a let down and left me feeling unattractive. I recently started dating a man who is 47 years old, not much younger, but he works out and has the body of a 30 year old. Well...I can't wipe the grin off my face just from thinking about him. It is not just physical, I like him as a person, but wow did he rock my world. And I his. I was very proud of myself that I held my own between the sheets. Infact, at one point he fell out of the bed! Whoever invented the term cougar must have been a jealous man. This is just another avenuie where women are coming into their own and if that means a younger man..GO FOR IT. It is well worth it.

Cougar

Guest — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 10:07:13 -0400

Sorry Debbie, the word "cougar" is already apart of our cultural vocabulary. And if you are one, then you should admit it!

no two guys smell the same to me

Guest — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:42:35 -0400

but then again i don't really go for cologne-wearing types. something i've noticed lately, though, is that i when i get close enough to my ex to smell him, i kind of fall apart. it reminds me of being that close, physically and emotionally, of sleeping in the crook of his arm, of dancing with him... ugh. so maybe i need to start checking out the cologne-wearing types after all!

OMG. Are you me? I wrote

Guest — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:49:08 -0400

OMG. Are you me? I wrote above how I almost left, and I mean, I was pretty damn close. In the end, I didn't. And really, I know why. The in between stuff. So, I watch and wait. How comforting to know I'm not alone. At the same time, I wish I could just take you by the hand. I wish someone would take me. That's for sure.

Hollywood "Crass-ting" Agents

Guest — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:33:58 -0400

Such a tacky Hollywood move- Instead of being jerks and trying to make headlines & money with obnoxious casting at Reeses's expense..why don't they just cast Reese for the part with Jake and keep the real love story going...

So true!

Guest — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:08:50 -0400

Great point Maya... it's so nice to find a home at a place where everyone's story is different and yet everyone is on the same path to personal happiness. On the whole, I find the community of FWW to be filled with confident, passionate, supportive women, (and men!), who may not always agree with me, but who lend opinions openly, not judgmentally. I'm very happy to be here with you! -Sarah Farthing

hmmm...

Guest — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:39:09 -0400

And why exactly should she have to 'arrange her schedule so that she can be close by'? The most important part of being in a relationship is TRUSTING the other person, right? If you don't, then whats the point! This watch him like a hawk, stay cloes and smile pretty bullshit is some really lame advice. If you can't trust your man then you shouldn't be with him!!!!

Overnight Business Trips

Guest — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:31:10 -0400

Both of the last two suggestions are ridiculous. For many women, business trips are a non-negotiable part of their careers. And, of course, women who desire to run for office should do so! Again the focus is on what a woman has to give up to have a man in her life as well as our having to watchdog our husbands instead of them taking responsibility for their own actions. If we have to make changes that impair our ability to live our own best lives -- because we fear that if we don't, our husbands will have an affair -- then maybe living alone isn't so bad.

Most likely...

Guest — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 12:00:14 -0400

the liitle blue pill is a contributing factor in some divorces...take it from someone whose ex is playing patty cake with one of my now former student s 25 years younger.

Someday, your heart will open again

Guest — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 14:38:36 -0400

Faith, I completely understand where you are coming from. Like you, my divorce was devistating for similar reasons. For a while I never thought I could ever trust or be close to another man EVER again, as I had never felt such deep, dark, painful emotions again. And, like you I am dating again with a great guy for almost three months. I do not get that constant "euphoria" feeling that I had with my ex when we were dating. I realize now, that what I was experiencing was intense, somewhat "immature" love in that my attraction and awe of him blinded me to all that he was and how although we fit well together in many ways (including planning dreams) some of the most important ways we did not. So, when I look at the relationship that I am in now, I have come to realized that it is a REAL ADULT relationship. We have a lot of fun together, are attracted together, etc. just like it was with my ex, but the big difference is that we have conscious, empathetic, and giving discussions/dialogues with each other when things "come up" or about life in general. Our connecting and my finally being able to truly open myself up again little by little is because our relationship comes from a mutual desire for a deep, adult relationship that takes time, patience, and understanding. And, we are both committed to this. At first I did not care whether he leaves or not and often suspected he will, as I was acting from a place of pain from my divorce. However, I am slowly easing into letting my heart open up again and in return, my heart is healing deeper piece by piece. Because, as we find someone we feel truely safe with, our relationship and interaction with them is healing in and of itself. I realize now that a balance between feeling "euphoric" with him and feeling everyday "normal" around him is the mark of an adult relationship being built from a solid foundation from the beginning. I know that it is hard to let your guard down because if you do, you do have to release more of your heart and open up to another's life and feelings toward you. But, on the other the hand, as I am experiencing, when you open your heart again to the right type of man, your heart is actually given the unique chance to heal even deeper from any pain remaining from your divorce. And, boy, it is definitely worth it. My current relationship is exactly like I learned in therapy as to what is truly possible within a conscious relationship. I wish you all of the blessings in the world to continue to let your heart let go of its pain more and more so that you, to, can heal more of it. If interested, be sure to check out the conscious relationship book "Getting the Love You Want." It might just help you along the path to open up and connect more deeply.

The Spirit of the Cougar

Guest — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:43:42 -0400

Nancy, you said that so beautifully! I hope you won't mind if I share your quote with some of my single gal-pals!

Cougar - Good or Bad?

Guest — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:15:16 -0400

You don't have to debate the term cougar any longer. I originated the term "Real Cougar" and my website and social club are for smart, sexy, independent women who are proud to be over 40. My Real Cougar Woman can be married or single - it's not about the ring on her finger it's all about her attitude. All of us fabulous females have to stick together and show the world it's not just about dating younger guys. We've earned our stripes and are damned proud of it. Linda Franklin www.therealcougarwoman.com

Finally!

Guest — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:48:36 -0400

I think you've got it now. I think you are on the right track. Your world has revolved around him and his family long enough. You need to start new and make a good life for you and your son. He should be the center of your world now not your ex. If you don't then you lose sight of all the things you are missing with your son. He is going to grow up fast enough but how bad will you feel if you did not spend that time with him growing up. It can be very stressful doing it alone but if your ex was just bringing you down then he would not have made things any better. It would just make your life so much harder and harder on your son. You would both be fighting and you don't want your son around that either. Now follow the words you just said and do it. You need to for yourself and your son.

The Spirit of the Cougar

Nancy Nehlsen — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:47:52 -0400

YouTube's video of a mother cougar protecting her baby against a grizzly bear exemplifies the cougar spirit. She is strong, brave, a skilled predator - yet so devoted to her young that she will put herself in the path of extreme danger to protect the one she loves. Labeling women who attract men much younger than themselves as cougars says a great deal about the woman, and the man she attracts. A younger man who sees beyond aging skin to the spirit of the cougar deserves as much credit as the woman who refuses to settle for less than she wants because society tells her she is beyond her years as a successful predator. Any man fortunate enough to be "caught" by a cougar will delight in her experience and her lack of pretense. The cougar is more than a predatory animal. The cougar is the embodiment of confidence that can only come from proving to yourself time and time again that you are worthy of any prey that becomes your prize.