firstwivesworld - divorce polls - Comments

First Wives World article in NYT

Guest — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:29:20 -0500

These women are like professional prostitutes. Married a rich man, most never worked a day after getting married, had the babysitter take care of the kids and raise them while pretending they're doing the hard work which is keeping them so busy. In addition, they dress as if they're going to a real job everyday when in fact all they're doing is meeting someone for brunch, with impeccable nails, hair and everything else, complained, complained, complained, nagged the living out of the husband when he got home from work. After the divorce, they get a substantial check every month, get involved in meaningless activities trying to convey a picture that they're dealing with worthwhile issues, it's so easy to see they're so bitter and angry individuals. Go out and get a life, ladies! There's a reality TV show coming soon titled "The Real Housewives of NYC." It's unbelievable how stupid these women are. I'm married to a fairly wealthy and successful hedge fund manager, we have two very well behaved children (twins) who will graduate College soon, I work in the publishing profession and volunteer at a Museum twice per month. Funny thing is, women like the ones in the NY Times article think so highly of themselves and actually believe that they are taken seriously by anyone other than their friends in the same boat. It's so ludicrous. I wonder if they really examined why their husbands left them to begin with. Reality is, they make most sane and normal people want to vomit and are the subject of conversation and ridicule quite often. My being so harsh above, doesn't mean that I think all men are Saints. That's a whole othe topic. I'm just referring to these airheads in the NYT.

I agree with you in this

sweetpj — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 05:58:51 -0500

I agree with you in this respect. How they conducted themselves during the divorce says a lot about their character. However divorce is such a personal matter that it really should be handled privately for the sake of all involved.

I think it is all about

Guest — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 13:56:33 -0500

I think it is all about communication. Period.

Didn't ever think I needed it.

Guest — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:45:35 -0500

Before I got married I saw a show, Oprah I think. It was talking about women and financial matters and how a woman should have her own credit. No matter what. You never know if you'll get divorced, your husband may die, etc. I thought to myself. WOW! That's really important, but of course I was thinking about the possibility of my husband dying not ever divorce. Well...Here I am. And am I ever greatful I paid attention, had my own credit, etc. I never thought I'd be here because of a divorce. But my plan B worked.

Divorce, living alone

Dorotheaa — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 08:49:13 -0400

It says if we have to we can.....and we do.
Dorothy from gammology

It's all the same

Guest — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 11:40:32 -0400

Nothing is a sure thing anymore. People used to work on a job for 50 years then retire with a gold watch. Now if you work at the same job for 5 years people look at you funny. Times they are a change'n.

Toni

I think that just the idea

Guest — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 09:20:53 -0400

I think that just the idea of a "threat" of divorce sets up people to think that a divorce is inevitable in their future. What if scientists focused on the reasons why people are waiting to get married? Career, travel, not rushing into things... how about putting a positive spin on things?

Thank God

izzi — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 09:58:30 -0400

A friend referred me to your site and the first thing I did was answer this poll. I can't tell you how relieved I was to realize that I'm not the only one out there. I was beginning to think I must be doing something seriously wrong in my life. Whew!

You have to feel sexy

Guest — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 22:30:27 -0400

In order to be sexy in others eyes you have to feel sexy in your own eyes. Be comfortable in your own skin so to speak. Know your body and what you like in regard to sex.
I was in a 15 year marriage where the last 5 were almost completely sexless. It took me a while and a partner that is totally uninhibited to really feel confident in myself sexually. No matter what happens with my man and I, I now know that it is Ok to trust another person and have fun while doing it!

(New and Healthy) Sex Life

BlueJay — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 21:15:29 -0400

Okay, Ladies, what is your advice/input for those of us who have only "been" with our long-term sexual partners for 20+ years?! While my fantasies seem to be alive and well-populated by every attractive male I notice, how in the world will I ever get to that point of physical intimacy again? Yes, I do miss that part of my life as a married woman, but I worry that I'll never get to know someone and trust them enough (ah, there is the key, I think!) to be comfortable in experiencing a healthy (and fun) sexual encounter/relationship! Anyone watched the movie "Must Love Dogs"? I just did this weekend (twice) ... will that be me on a date, racing around town for a condom, and then fall out of the mood?! I'm scared ... but I kind of CAN'T WAIT !!!! :-)

The more sex we have the

Guest — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:48:11 -0400

The more sex we have the better! Not only is it fun- all of the health benefits! A healthy sex life equals a healthy life period! (Be safe everyone!)

hyphenating

mayabella — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 04:08:01 -0400

Because we married in 1980, I hyphenated. My father had recently died and ~ to me ~ it was a way to honour him. Since my partner and I had been together for seven years by then, I had begun to hyphenate a few years before because it felt as though we were meant to be that way.

I never used the hyphenated name because it was not rhythmic to me. I loved my new surname, even though he had changed the pronounciation from his parent's 'Michelle' - to a more masculine 'Michael". Whatever.

When the divorce happened I ummed and ahhed over whether I should change it back. The ex was determined that Michael was HIS name and I had no more use for it yet ~ as the mother to those kids, I believed that I did not need to cut another swathe to separate us. I simply changed the pronounciation.

Now that the kids are grown, the legal name has come back into effect. I am now Maya Seale- Michel again, only the pronounciation is the more delicate Michelle. Problem solved. My name, my family name, my childrens' family name - and MY pronounciation. Everyone is happy ~ barring one whose opinion no longer counts. And he HATES it, which makes it all the more sweet.

Somehow I can't think of

Guest — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:02:25 -0400

Somehow I can't think of Giuliani's divorce as a reflection the millions of other divorces that take place in this country. He isn't the first to divorce because he met another woman but he is probably one of the few men to flaunt his affair in public and in front of his children. He showed no concern for anyone but himself.

I would vote for someone who is divorced but, before I do I want to know how they conducted themselves during their divorce. Divorce is not indicative of a character flaw, how you deal with the divorce can and does show how much character a person has. I hope that is one thing the voters in this country will always consider about a candidate, no matter how high the divorce rate goes and how common it becomes.

Change is good

Guest — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:25:48 -0400

People never think about these things until they happen to them. It is very important to put these topics on the table and not hide them. More and more people are seeing that if you have a relationship that doesn't become, "Happily Ever After" you are only joining the ranks of millions around the country and world. So why not let our leaders showing they are "real" people?

Toni

Ancient history...

Guest — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 06:57:27 -0400

My mother kept my dad's last name when they divorced for my sake, but I always thought that was weird. Having a different last name than me wouldn't make her any less of a mother!

So - I decided that I would keep my last name when I got married and avoid the issue altogether. Most of my friends are keeping their's as well. It seems like there's a trend in the air. I hope so, anyway... taking on your husband's last name seems so last century, doesn't it?