firstwivesworld - Poll - Comments

Keeping (or not keeping) your married name.

Guest — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:50:30 -0400

After being kicked to the curb after 39 years of marriage, I decided to take back my maiden name. Why? Why would I want to keep the name of the man that turned his back on me? Should I ever re-marry, I will probably keep my name as it is now - don't want to go through that again!! I came into this world as a Lane, and I'll go out as Lane!!

Wow, that's suprising!

Guest — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:56:18 -0500

Wow, that's suprising!

have been still together for the last 3 years

Gwyn — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 21:26:01 -0500

First was insecurity, then financial, now I don't know what. It was almost 3 years to the month when we first started talking about it when we separated physically

need one more choice

Gwyn — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 21:23:45 -0500

I will keep my married name because that's who I am now for the last 25 years. It's not for the kids, it's not because I'm afraid, taking back my maiden name won't liberate me. It's just who I am now. My mother kept her married name and they divorced when I was 13....it's been thirty years later. She is as strong and as independent as she ever would have been under her old name. Plus old friends from her married days are able to find her (which has happened)

it never hurts

Guest — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:47:03 -0500

feeling pretty in new, flattering underwear....

weight after divorce

Carol hanson — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 11:00:02 -0500

first I read a book about the plague, then I read "Night" by Elie Weisel, then Life of Pi. All good survival stories. Then I joined a boot camp-style fitness program and weight watchers with the support of and being accompanied by a good friend. I lost almost 50 lbs in the first year after my husband left me for someone else. I blamed my weight gain in the 20 year marriage (almost 100 lbs!!) on my depression due to the problems in the marriage. After he left, I couldn't blame him anymore. I new I had to survive on my own and read many stories of people who had through situations far worse than a bad marriage ending. I felt better and looked better. Buying new clothes in a much smaller size didn't feel too bad either!

Why not?

Guest — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:49:16 -0500

I "sold myself" on love, looks, intelligence etc before and it's not working out. Money will definitely help in many regards ~ it's as worthy a qualification as any. And marriage isn't just about sex/love etc - it's a life long financial commitment too. No, 2nd marriage will be to someone who first, has the bank account and second, hopefully all the rest too.

Fool Me Once

srgred — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 02:45:04 -0500

My soon to be ex was such a control freak, especially about money. I had no idea that he wasn't paying the condo mortgage or mainteance fees for about a year, he owed the government half a million in back taxes and wrote rubber checks for everything else. I was paying for food, clothes, medical and dental bills, the car that I was driving and the cell phones for my son and me. The relationship between the ex and me was bad as it was. Then he finally told me about the taxes and that the condo was about to go into foreclosure. I suppose things became so hopeless to him (his fast talking routines weren't working any more) that he turned to me as though I could fix it all for him. I didn't have that kind of money. It did present me with the impetus to call a lawyer and run for my life as well as my son's.

Marry once more

Guest — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 12:51:17 -0500

My last husband and I were married for 1 1/2 months when he was arrested for embezzlement from his former job. I was unaware of this until the week before the arrest. Needless to say I divorced him after only 3 months of marriage. I meet this man at church, he was there everytime the doors were open. He had everyone fooled. Ladies be careful and do background and credit checks on all your men......

Britney and Custody

Judy Collinson — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 15:58:38 -0400

I really feel that Kevin just wants the kids for the money and the fame, he is the one who was using drugs and running around all through their marriage. Not a good example at all, well Britney stayed home and felt that she was unfit as a person. I know because thats what happened to me. Once you free yourself of the bum, you let loose, after many many times of being told that you can't do anything right you almost believe it for awhile, unfortunally not one of us can say how many mistakes we would have made if the cameras were constantly following and monitering everything that we said. Not one of us can throw a brick because we all done something wrong (at least the cameras were not on us). I do believe that Britney will turn herself around, maybe now the press will go after Kevin, I am sure that if they do, they will find out alot of garbage about him. I never went out without my underwear, did hard drugs, but there were many times my children suffered while I tried to prove my worth as a person and find someone to love me.
Judy Collinson

Britney and Custody

Guest — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 20:59:13 -0400

We tend to apply a separate set of standards to celebrities than we do to "regular" people--and from my point of view, that means a lower standard not a higher one. I truly feel sorry for many of the children born into these poorly-considered "celebrity" unions, as many of these young parents seem to think that their children are the equivalent of life-like dolls. The truth is that most mothers in California behaving the way Britney has would suffer the same consequences--but their names don't wind up in the news.

It isn't Britney nor her ex-husband who should be the focus of our concern, but their children.

Britney and custody

Lisa Bella — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 11:02:26 -0400

Hey, all of you that said both were unfit. How can we judge this by what we see in the (twisted and often biased) media.

They are celebrities with problems as many have. But I have also seen many other people with problems that are not celebrities and have come through the roughest of times. I have also seen quite many parents, both affluent and not, who are clearly lacking the basic fundamentals of parenting, but either don't care or don't know it.

I say, let's try to help people rather than judge them. After all, the kids are the victims here.

Of course, there are some kids that should be removed from their families, for example, those who are not fed, burnt with cigarettes, and other unmentionable horrors or whose parents are crack heads. Even these poor kids are often forgotten. Let's change our tune!!!

nil

jo-ann — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 11:01:27 -0400

Yes, where does a single 67 (look 57) yr. old woman meet "good" men. I know we have to put ourselves out there, but I'm tired of doing everything by myself (movies, dinner, museums, social events, etc.,) I think most older men are looking for younger women and as we age, it gets more difficult to find a man who is interested in us. What do you think?
Has anyone had experience with matchmaking?

nil

Guest — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 16:12:29 -0400

Obviously, there are a lot of women who aren't having sex. The question is, do they want to be? If so, where does a 50 year old single woman meet a decent single guy these days?

nil- none -nada

mmussa01 — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 14:00:44 -0400

I AM HAPPY TO SEE I AM NOT ALONE