Shedding An Ugly Light On Marriage

A.J. Wylder — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0500

I was out with a couple of girlfriends the other night — neither have been married but are in relationships that are getting pretty serious — and we started talking about marriage.

Being that I was the only one at the table who had been married, I felt compelled to share my thoughts on the whole marriage thing. I tried not to be too negative, but I wanted them to understand that I believe you shouldn't enter marriage with blinders on. It isn't always a happily-ever-after, and as women we need to protect ourselves from the beginning.

When you are in your 20s or early 30s and engaged, the idea of marriage is so exciting. It's all about love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person. At least, that's how I felt when I was engaged. Well, time to wake up!

That sounds all warm and fuzzy but the reality is that the "love of your life" can destroy you — not just mentally, but financially — if one day he decides he doesn't want to be married anymore. It's so scary how quickly everything can go downhill.

As a young married couple, the excitement is in building a life together — buying a home, buying cars, opening accounts. When you're first married, you don't think about what's going in whose name because you are "one" and everything is shared. After all, you're going to grow old together, right?

Well, that's great, but if divorce becomes a reality, all of those "shared" things can be devastating to your wallet and credit score.

I wanted my girlfriends to hear this because I care. They are college-educated, career-driven women who are self-sufficient, and I would hate to see some guy jeopardize all they have worked toward.

Being eager to walk down the aisle is fine, but you don't fully understand— until you've been divorced — how a broken marriage can break you. Too often, there is no happily ever after.

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Shedding An Ugly Light On Marriage