firstwivesworld - Just a Typical Single Mom - Comments

You're the exception

Guest — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:25:09 -0400

Most of the single mothers I know don't live that charmed of a life. I sure didn't. Do you live on the same planet as the rest of us? Don't glamorize being a single parent so much because it completely disrespect those of us who did have to struggle and suffer for many years....and makes it sound like our issues are not important.

Labels - Who Needs Em?

Guest — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:51:04 -0400

With the divorce rate what it is these days, and with plenty of unmarried women choosing to adopt or have children on their own, I don't think this stigma really exists to the extent you imagine it does. Sure some old school or out-of-touch fuddy-duddies might think that way, but not most people in modern society. When I became a single mom seventeen years ago I did have to go on public assistance for awhile to get by. Then I went back to school and eventually was able to earn enough money to take care of myself and my kids. But there's no shame in being a young parent trying as hard as you can and needing some help. Really, there is no 'typical' single mom, just as there is no 'typical' mom, or 'typical' dad, or 'typical' kid. Those labels are weird. We're all different and we all have our unique strengths and needs.

Just a Typical Single Mom

Marshall — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:14:14 -0400

Odds are that when people hear the phrase "single mom" they envision an unwed teen, poor, uneducated, unemployed, and struggling. There is a real stigma attached to being a single mom. A recent poll of “Moms Today” revealed that:

• 86 percent of those interviewed believed that most single mothers are on welfare,

• 90 percent believed that most single mothers are under the age of 25 and

• 77 percent believed that most single mothers didn't graduate from high school.

I used to believe these things too, and then it happened to me. I was married. We decided to have a baby, and when I was eight months pregnant my husband left. Just like that, I was a single mom. I'd never been so terrified in my life. For the first few months I would ask, "How did this happen to me?" I'd try to pinpoint the exact moment that things went bad, thinking if I could just nail that down, everything would make sense. That was the hardest part, the utter shock that I had let this happen to me, that I could be so blind.

After I got over that stage, (I never did find that moment), once the rawness wore off, I started to pick up the pieces. I worked at finding the perfect balance between loving my son, being the best mom ever to him, and taking care of myself and other things I love. Slowly, I've figured out ways to navigate life as a single mother. And I’ve met other wonderful single moms who have redefined what it means to be a single parent. We're educated. We work. We pay our bill. We take care of our kid(s). We date. We have fun. According to the US Census Bureau, this is what single mothers really look like:

• 44 percent are divorced or separated

• 79 percent of single mothers work full time

• 72 percent of single mothers live well above the poverty level

• 69 percent of single mothers do not receive public assistance

• 68 percent of single mothers are over 30 years old