Episode 28: Make Room For Daddy

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 08:24:48 -0400

It all starts when I make up with La Annabelle. It's Friday night and the "Sex and the City" movie has just opened and my doorbell rings. Jeffrey has the boys for three days, because, I kid you not, he's supposed to spend a week at some ashram in the Blue Ridge Mountains and he wants some "quality time" with his offspring before he goes. This ashram nonsense is his Father's Day gift from the Concubine, who God bless her stupid little heart, insists on staying with him, at least through the summer. (This may have something to do with the tacky mansion he always rents on the beach in Santa Barbara every August, or it might just be his money.)

Anyhoo, I open the door and there's La Annabelle, with Cody the vegan teetering next to her. They're all glammed up, wearing Manolos, and oddly (or not so oddly) there are Cosmos in their hands. (Actually, Cody's shoes are that cruelty free brand that Natalie Portman, also a vegan, has designed. Even for the most anticipated chick flick of the century, Cody won't cross to the dark side.) "Are you my Miranda or my Charlotte?" Annabelle says, then reaches into her Balenciaga (the same one she flounced out of my house with when we had that nasty fight) and pulls out a bedazzled thermos. "I'm your fucking Samantha," I tell her, and kind of thrust out my boobs. Then Annabelle tells me to get the hell out of my ratty jeans and t-shirt because we're going to the movies. "Move your cute ass," she adds, "We have to stop somewhere first." "Stop where?" I ask her and she just shakes her head mysteriously while Cody wobbles in her meatless shoes and does her best not to give anything away. "What's the J-ster doing for Father's Day?" Annabelle asks me and when I tell her he's having dinner at home with the C-word and the kids she says something that sounds like, "Last Supper," which in the moment, I don't really understand.

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Episode 28: Make Room For Daddy