I've stepped away from the

Cathy Meyer — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:55:56 -0400

I've stepped away from the pool also Wanda. Although I do have to admit to wiggling my toes in the waters periodically. No way can I go cold turkey!

Too funny!

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:43:49 -0400

Actually, I decided to keep them -- how wild is that -- So, we're a full house, now! Thank you for always commenting on our blogs and for being so supportive! We love you, CM.

Hey, being able to identify

Guest — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:09:53 -0400

Hey, being able to identify this is HUGE. We all have a choice to repeat patterns and blame others, or we learn from these "mistakes" and move on, hopefully to a better outlook on life.( And those two little kitties are much better off with you anyway!) CM

The Ghost Of Behavior Past

Wanda Woodard — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0400

Ah, the bad behavioral patterns that we developed from the time we were a child that followed us into early adulthood, our marriages and our mothering. If you're not careful you will find yourself slipping. And when you're in the moving beyond phase of your divorce, you have to be on the look out for the ghosts of bad behavior from your past.

At 51 I think it's a little late to blame who I am and what I've done, at least in the last decade of two, on my parents. They tried. They did their best. But, it simply wasn't enough. If you're somewhere in my age bracket, then you were raised by the children of the Great Depression. Hell, my mother was born in 1930! Our parents felt that if they clothed, fed and sheltered us, we were good to go. They had no way of knowing how introspective we would all eventually end up becoming.

It's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs — there are six levels with number one being the most basic, food, clothing and shelter. Six is Self Actualization. Our parents did not have time to consider the meaning of anything outside of paying the mortgage, cooking, working, cleaning. But today, in the throws of the Information Age, we are all searching. Self-help books and DVD sales are at all-time highs.

But, the bottom line is this: We want to love and be loved. However, the exact process to find this Nirvana has eluded us. We're divorcees. Give me a break. Our marriage failed us. We failed our marriage. We walked away for lack of emotional or financial support. We left because of infidelity. We scrambled out barely with our lives in tact.

However, the last thing we need to do is to repeat wrong behavior. If we had become a door mat for our husbands, a "yes" woman, a punching bag — either verbally or physically (me), we need to make sure we're not sliding back into that. Ever.

firstwivesworld - The Ghost Of Behavior Past - Comments

I've stepped away from the

Too funny!

Hey, being able to identify

The Ghost Of Behavior Past