firstwivesworld - Sleeping With The Married Man - Comments

my point exactly!

Faith Eggers — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 10:59:28 -0400

Exactly the point I was trying to make.....us women need to stick together!!

Faith

Nobody's perfect...

Faith Eggers — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 10:58:38 -0400

...right? Of course I have compassion for my friend, I have compassion for everyone in regards to the situation. It just strikes a huge nerve in me, having had a husband that had affairs...all the time, more than I'll ever really know of, for sure. However you are right, forgiveness is key.

Thanks Dorothy

affairs,

Dorotheaa — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:40:30 -0400

I would like to pretend I'm lily white and had never engaged in an affair with a married man, or even better post this without my name..However, that would make two wrongs not one. Although, I would like to say there is nothing I can do after the fact and it is at least 20 years since the affair, and I'm 61 and I did have an affair with a married man...there I said it for all to read..

Further, you are a strong and good women, able to speak your mind and stay with your values. It took me a long time to come to terms with my poor judgment. It was so easy to justify my affair as during that time I hated all men and had the affair to hopefully hurt them. In the end the only person hurt was me...because I subjected myself to less then honorable values which I can never change.

I hope you will find compassion in your heart for your friend, and be there when she comes to her senses. If I could erase those years I would, instead I try to learn from them and pass it on, affairs are never alright.....forgiveness is, I hope you find it with your friend and are able to bring her values back as well.

Dorothy from grammology
call your grandma

http://grammology.com

The "wife"

llg17115 — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 16:55:46 -0400

I was the wife and mother who was left to pick up the pieces...I wish that more women would see both sides of the affair and stop before it starts. I will be able to move on, but my sons will forever be wondering if they can trust their dad. That is the reality of the "issues having nothing to do with her".... I feel badly for them, too!

Sleeping With The Married Man

Faith Eggers — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 14:15:00 -0400

A while back — months ago — a good friend of mine told me that she was up to no good.

I've always had a lot of respect for her, as she seems to be the one that is always together. You know: owns a home, holds down a good job, gets along well with her parents and never really has any drama in general. I was very intrigued to know what it was that she was up to.

Well, she dropped a bomb. She told me that she had been sleeping with a married man. She went on to say that she didn't feel guilty about it, that there were issues in their marriage that had nothing to do with her — in her opinion, it was their problem.

I told her that in my opinion, she was completely wrong — that no woman should do that to another woman, period. I went on to tell her that this guy is clearly a liar — along with the slew of other names I called him — and that this was going to come back to bite her in the ass for sure.

Well, she kept doing it, and I tried to keep my opinions to myself. She decided that she couldn't talk to me about it, that my opinion was biased and that I was taking it all too personally because of what I went through with Levi. The whole thing made me sick, and truth-be-told I lost a lot of respect for her.

It turns out they did get found out. Apparently someone told his wife. I don't really know what the details of the situation are, but my best guess is that now the fun is over and the poor wife and mother is left to pick up the pieces. It's truly sad, and I feel badly for all of them — most importantly the kids.

The moral of the story: Don't engage in affairs with married men.