firstwivesworld - Not Enough of Me To Go Around - Comments

This was all to familiar

Guest — Sat, 17 May 2008 14:47:08 -0400

This was all to familiar with me. I used to be the same way and did so much for the family day in and out while in the evenings my husband sat on the couch and watched Sportscenter all night...and then he still wanted this attention...mind you he didn't work a 12 hour day, make the dinner or do homework with the kids, get them baths, or put them to sleep. I began to resent that. He found someone that would give him attention...and we are no longer married. And I only have to count on me each day and not worry about another person not being in the family "team" not participating. I am so much more happy now.

You bet!

Megan Thomas — Sat, 17 May 2008 09:25:43 -0400

I think that quite a bit - and have voiced the same concern many times, believe me.

well

Guest — Fri, 16 May 2008 18:43:30 -0400

Has you husband ever thought that if he helped you out more you would be less stressed and have more free time on your hands.

Not Enough of Me To Go Around

Megan Thomas — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:00:48 -0400

The other day was a doozy. The kids were both stir-crazy because of the rain, and when they get stir-crazy they get awfully clingy and needy. I had three deadlines looming and I had to go to a meeting. The house was a mess and I couldn't figure out a time to go grocery shopping even though the pantry was pretty much bare.

All in all, it was the kind of day where I felt stretched to the limit and although I wanted nothing more than to curl into bed and hide from the world it just wasn't an option.

Too many obligations, and not enough of me to go around.

After the kids were in bed I sat down to punch out the work that I had to do. I figured if I worked for two hours straight I could get to bed before midnight, then the next day I could try to tackle the housework and maybe get to the grocery store if everything worked out.

I had been working for a few minutes when my husband stopped flipping through the television channels and looked over at me. "I need to talk to you about something," he said, and then proceeded to tell me that I wasn't paying enough attention to him.

Now that's bad timing.

I was already on edge because I was trying to deal with so much at once. Sometimes it gets overwhelming: kids, work, keeping up the house...I understand that when I have so much to deal with my husband's need for attention might take a back seat. There are just some times when I have to get stuff done and I don't have the time to fawn over him.

That either makes me a realist, or it makes me incredibly insensitive to my husband's needs. Or maybe I'm an insensitive realist.

I work hard. It would be great to end an evening with my husband saying something along the lines of, "I know you've been stretched thin lately. What can I do to help?" instead of, "Pay more attention to me."