firstwivesworld - I Wouldn't Recommend Drinking, But... - Comments

How long is too long?

Wanda Woodard — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:57:11 -0400

Hey, Guest, do not get down on yourself about the "length" of this period. Each phase of moving beyond takes it's own "sour" time. You cannot simply decide that it's time for your mood and television gluttony to be over. People always want to assign time limits to our moods, changes, phases, etc. That's bullshit. Don't assign yourself a time limit. If you are not motivated yet, then you are not motivated yet. You are going to live a long, long life. You'll catch up to positive thinking and energy eventually. It may seem like forever to you, but you'll move to the next phase when your body, soul and mind are ready for you to do so. It's like getting rid of a headache. The more you think about it, the worse it gets. Just let it go. Relax and be a mope. You cannot do what you do not want to do when you're healing and in this particular phase.

But how do you declare the end of this period

Guest — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 23:40:33 -0400

Well I don't drink but I am still mopping with t.v. and food. I know it is normal for a period but it has gone on too long and I just can't get myself to move on. I have tried everything courses new hobbies psychologist and I still can't get myself to get over this stage.

Divorce knocks us off balance.

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:06:58 -0400

Hence, we have to grab onto whatever we can to steady ourselves. And though the idea of "drinking" Crown Royal to, er, um, "steady" ourselves may sound contradictory. That is exactly what it did for me -- it held me steady through that first very rough year. Thank you, Bargee, for your validation of my stint with my liquid friends.

So many wines...

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:01:56 -0400

...so little time!

great post!

bargee — Sat, 03 May 2008 23:11:05 -0400

I just love this post because it turns conventional "wisdom" on its head. If I read one more article about how I shouldn't be sad, shouldn't "let myself go," shouldn't have a glass of wine or three, to help me through this, I'm going to scream. Divorce certainly turns everything on its head, and somehow we're supposed to act like the world is still right-side-up and just smile through it? Huh-unh. Thanks for giving us the wisdom of hindsight, Wanda. I love this post because it's just a wee bit of melancholy and a whole lot of hopeful. You're a great storyteller. Thanks.

I do enjoy a nice scotch

Guest — Sat, 03 May 2008 17:45:50 -0400

I do enjoy a nice scotch every now and then- but nothing beats a good glass of wine... CM

You're just a Bailey's Kind of Gal!!

Wanda Woodard — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:50:43 -0400

I still "long" for Crown, but, budgetary concerns and alcohol dependency -- wait a minute. You can't become an alcoholic drinking Crown can you? LOL!! Here's to you, Ms. Meyer for being such a wonderful asset to FWW and my life!

I remember those days of

Cathy Meyer — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:02:53 -0400

I remember those days of Crown Royal and Sex and the City. My crutch was Baileys Irish Cream. My Baileys went from being a crutch to a luxury. One I enjoy every night at bed time. Bailey is in my life to stay...I'm committed to that stuff!

I Wouldn't Recommend Drinking, But...

Wanda Woodard — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:03:58 -0400

After Hurricane Katrina blew my life apart, but gave me the opportunity to escape my prison sentence with Stinky, I was in what some people call a bit of a state of shock. I was traumatized. Yep, that storm blew my house, my children's school, and my office away, and Stinky had knocked me clean stupid.

So, though it's been two and a half years, sometimes I long for those first months (okay, it was actually a year) of being so confused and unhappy and scared that I couldn't hold down a full time job and was afraid to really do anything more than get up, get the kids to school, and brush my teeth.

That's when I found my new friends: Crown Royal and Mimosa. Mmmm. I had no money, but I actually bought the complete collection of all six seasons of Sex In the City and after the kids were in school, I would come home and I would put in the next DVD open a bottle of Frexinet Brut or Extra Dry, mix a mimosa and sit down to plunge into complete oblivion watching four hip chicks living their lives in the Big Apple.

Ahhh. Those were the days. By noon, the champagne was gone along with a king sized bar of Hershey's dark chocolate, I would lay down and sleep for two hours, awake refreshed, brush my teeth, again, and go get the kids.

Then after baths and homework and giggles and stories of their day, and once they were both snuggled in for the night, I would shower, slip into my bed and put in the next DVD and hit play. I would also begin drinking the four Crown Royal highballs that would lull me into a deep sleep, so deep that I would not have the nightmares that had plagued me the first few weeks after my departure from the coast of Mississippi.