Try Friends & Family Plan to Help Kids Adjust

Risa Garon — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:11:09 -0400

How well you and your children adjust to life post-divorce is not just a matter of your inner-strength. A lot depends upon your support network.

Unfortunately, social circles and family ties can suffer in the wake of a breakup. So who can you turn to?

Those you have grown accustomed to leaning on may not be there for you. Often, people side with one spouse over the other. Some friends may be uncomfortable socializing with a single-parent family. And if you are forced to move, no matter how near, the distance may make it tough to maintain previous relationships. A new neighborhood could mean living among strangers. And, perhaps, in the aftermath of your split you don't have the time or energy needed to form new bonds.

Most of us are trained to be self-reliant. But seeking help from relatives, friends or professionals simply means that you can't expect to have all the answers. It is a positive step toward taking care of yourself and your children. Here are some ways you can build a support system, even when it feels as though you're all alone.

Get involved. Make a special effort to put yourself and your children in the middle social, recreational and educational activities. If people seem too busy to get to know you, don't give up. Soon you and child will find people who share your interests and who are interested in forging friendships.

Renew contact. Do you miss some of your old friends? They might be waiting for you to make the first move. If the divorce has left you feeling cut off emotionally from friends and relatives, make an extra effort to get in touch with them. Let them know that you want to maintain the relationships and are willing to forget any ill feelings or discomfort caused by your separation or divorce.

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Try Friends & Family Plan to Help Kids Adjust