firstwivesworld - Not Quite Ready to Take the Wheel - Comments

Thanks for the support.

Maya Halpen — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 19:47:23 -0400

Thanks for the support. Here's hoping I run into those understanding apartment managers soon! And--ha!--as if you didn't know well enough on your own that the one apartment wasn't the right situation at the time for you, soon enough Mother Nature was there to reassure you. Wow.

Absolutely! You will know

Guest — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 17:56:26 -0400

Absolutely! You will know when the timing is right- and good for you for taking another step- even though it's scary... CM

Hi ya, Maya - been there done that

Wanda Woodard — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:04:24 -0400

Before officially leaving my ex, I did what you're doing. I began apartment hunting. But, unlike you, I found that apartment managers seemed to understand and even sympathize with my situation. One gentleman even told me, "yeah, we get that a lot here." I didn't take that apartment, though it was the closest I came to signing a lease. That very apartment complex was on the beach in Biloxi and was completely destroyed just a few months after I didn't sign the lease. You don't have to "take the wheel" until you're ready. And when it's time...you'll know it.

Not Quite Ready to Take the Wheel

Maya Halpen — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:00:37 -0400

Though tentative about commencing a trial separation from Rob, I recently undertook an apartment search. After finally graduating from browsing listings to meeting potential apartment-mates on-site, I hit a wall: Apparently thirty-something women leaving a troubled marriage are not considered great apartment-mate material.

This was a terrible eye-opener about the stigma I might have to face down the road, but given my uncertainty about leaving Rob, it was kind of nice that the next step — and whether or not to take it — was out of my control.

How convenient to avoid an inner struggle over whether it's time to leave or not — let someone else provide the answer!

Yesterday, however, some nice women in an adorable apartment nearby decided I'm a "good fit." They didn't pry far into my current living situation or personal life, and so the fact that I'd be in the middle of a separation isn't exactly on the table. But their age and respectful reserve make me think they wouldn't unfairly judge my ability to be a roommate with a year's lease by my unsuccessful attempt to choose a life partner.

Now it seems I have to similarly convince the building management company. No doubt much will be revealed about my situation in the "extremely thorough background check" I've been told to expect. Scary. But also a relief: This means I'm still not exactly in control of taking the next step. I guess I'm not quite ready to take the wheel.