Esme Schmir

Guest — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 10:48:11 -0400

Hi there. I reallly love your writing! ... really clever, smart, witty AND speaks to much to my own experiences... I'm just a boring burb-wife in middle America, though my life seems to be echoed amazingly in Esme's stories. Are you writing from your own expeirencies?

Episode 19: How To Dress Your Age

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:48:42 -0400

Not too long ago I turned on the television and on one of those talk shows that you know you shouldn't watch because they put all these bad ideas into your head ("I'm too fat," "I'm too thin," "I should have a better career," "I shouldn't have anything") I saw a segment called "How To Dress Your Age." On this show the hosts did a lot of "Ooohing," and "Aaahing" as a bunch of "real life models" (don't get me started on that one) pranced down a makeshift runway showing the studio audience (mostly mid-life women, some with deliberately unfortunate hair and clothes) how they were supposed to dress.

What I took away from that eleven a.m. fashion show was this: a woman over forty is supposed to wear belts. Now, I've never been a big fan of the belt (I don't have much of a waist to begin with, plus there's the aforementioned "menopot" to contend with) but the fashion experts on this show insisted that the belt was the savior of all mankind (or at least, of all womankind) especially women "of a certain age." (When, by the way, did forty become an age of such "certainty?" Did I miss the memo? When the fuck did that happen?) Anyhoo, the belt serves many purposes, apparently. It holds things in place. It gives the illusion of a waist where there is none. It reminds you not to eat pasta at lunchtime. (And the wider the belt, the less noticeable the "overhang.") It shaves years off your figure.

firstwivesworld - Episode 19: How To Dress Your Age - Comments

Esme Schmir

Episode 19: How To Dress Your Age