firstwivesworld - Does Freedom Come With A Price? - Comments

Paint, Away!

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:38:26 -0400

And don't be shy to mix the colors up and spill the colors all over your floor/life! It's YOUR canvas, sweetie -- go for it!

i need to bookmark this entry

Guest — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:42:31 -0400

... read it over and over. thanks for the shot in the arm, just when it was needed. my ex cheated on me for a long time and a girlfriend said at lunch the other day: you do not deserve this. damn! that's true, no matter what my faults. loneliness and fear are scratching outside the door right now, but i'm gonna go dig out the paints. thanks, wanda.

Courage - the cowardly dog

Wanda Woodard — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:14:42 -0400

Hey, CM, Thank you. And to all women who are living the life of a man who hits and to those who are trying to leave a man who hits and to those who have left a man who hits. Bravo, you women of worth! Bravo. Yeah, sometimes you may feel like Courage, the cowardly dog, but don't forget, he always manages to rescue those he loves. Get going!

You are filled with courage

Guest — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 11:16:29 -0400

You are filled with courage and that spills over to all who are afraid. Thank you for standing up for yourself and for the rights of all who feel powerless. CM

Does Freedom Come With A Price?

Wanda Woodard — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:00:00 -0400

Well, of course it does. Freedom comes with loneliness and fear. It comes with self doubt and trepidation. Freedom comes with a blank canvas that stares at you saying, when you are going to finally pick up that paint brush little lady?

But it is worth it. Leaving your partner, disconnecting from the person you shared three, 10, 20, 30 years with is painful, but it's the first step toward freedom.

He left you, you left him, you both left each other — it doesn't matter. Divorce hurts. It cuts to the very core of who you are and who you were. No matter whose decision it was, you find yourself in a new existence, but instead of feeling excited and happy, you find yourself lonely and regretful. You may even fantasize about the possibility of getting back with him because he and that marriage were a "known". You are now faced with the unknown.

It's hard. But rest assured, God wants you to be happy.

But, everything you've been taught, everything you read — it all points to the husband and wife and family scenario. You now feel that you've abandoned your beliefs, failed at your marriage, lost what mattered most.

But, you are wrong. I personally wrestled with the whole "I took a vow, I promised forever, I swore to never leave," yet I did. You could say, well he beat you, Wanda, of course you had to leave. But many women take their beatings and remain "a good wife." So, was I selfish? Was it my fault he hit me? After all I am opinionated. I am mouthy. I am feisty and somewhat self centered. I do like to do what I want to do. So, am I somehow to blame for all of this?

Self doubt and regret — they're killers. But, they will pass. You have to trust me on this. I made it through. Today, I don't have any regret. I don't have any loneliness either, as remarkable as that may sound. I've been busy painting, you know.