firstwivesworld - Playing Games - Comments

I KNEW IT!

Maya Halpen — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:55:12 -0400

I KNEW IT! I knew I wasn't alone on this one. Addiction is serious and scary and requires special attention, no doubt. But what frightens me more than the behavior is how violent the games are. Rob is kind and gentle otherwise. His interest in this violence make me wonder if he has some secret hidden side full of latent anger. Yikes!

What is it with the games?????

Chenell Fox — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 04:17:49 -0400

My husband is ALWAYS on X box I swear that thing should have gotten the ring and said I do. Not to mention he is "disabled " so he can't work now. But when I comw home from work nothing is done unless i let the place get really bad and he thinks his family is going to come over then he will get up to clean. I hink we should sue the makers of those games for allowing husands"MEN" something they call themselves to relive a childhood that they may not have had the chance to live. Just joking about the law suite but come on enough is enough....

I totally understand.

Megan Thomas — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 23:11:02 -0400

My husband had a video game addiction for years, although he didn't couple it with alcohol. I think that it's one of the most embarrassing addictions to talk to other people about. To this day I still have a hard time admitting that my husband would rather spend time with virtual gnomes (or whatever it was he was playing) than with me.

My goodness- it seems like

Guest — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:22:03 -0400

My goodness- it seems like any addiction- his is video games? And he needs rehab, not just limits on his drinking. I believe the problem is much more serious than limits- CM

Playing Games

Maya Halpen — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 17:00:00 -0400

I went to New York for a little fun with an old friend this weekend. Left alone, Rob went on a drinking binge and played violent video games through the night. I came home to find him exhausted, ill, and depressed. This is not a new thing.

It takes a couple of days for him to physically recuperate and he feels down for a good week. He tells me he feels terribly guilty and sorry, that he doesn't want to do this to himself anymore. Clearly he wants my comfort. For the first few years, I complied.

Once he did this the night before an important morning meeting at work, when we were to leave on an international flight later that day. He was still drunk and playing when I found him that morning, eyes red and swollen from peering at the screen. Scary.

About six months ago I came home from an evening out with friends to find the apartment door chained against my entrance. After no response to my calls, I broke in to find him with some sort of communications headgear on, yelling to his platoon-mates in real time as battle waged on screen. What?

We've read books and consulted therapists. He has worked to otherwise channel his anxieties at my absence. I'm reassuring before I go out for a night or away for a couple of days, and supportive and careful with him as he recuperates. He has cleared the hard dive of games and imposed drinking limits on himself, but only to re-purchase more violent games and binge once again.

My patience has limits. I can no longer be the one to comfort him when he acts out in response to my independence within the marriage. I'm curious about other people's take on this dynamic and, short of leaving, how else I might deal with it.