firstwivesworld - Get Out Of My Bed - Comments

Getting Rid of...

Guest — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 13:58:28 -0400

I learned through my own divorce experience is letting go as much of the material things as you can since your heart is somewhat still stuck between the divorce/mediation and the 'unknown'. When I left the place I moved to with my ex husband, and realized there were absolutely no options, I had to leave everything except my clothing, my children's pictures and pertinent papers. I took not one single piece of furniture. A beautiful home and all, there was no question in my mind I had to struggle regarding how I was taking anything with me. I knew I was getting rid of a life I no longer wanted. Finally!!! When I settled into what became my own space, my own lily of the valley, it never felt better to know it was solely my taste, my colors, my ambience. Everything I had together with my ex at that time meant nothing because the new had replaced the old. I knew I had to get rid of every piece I had purchased, made or given to me along our marriage together, along with the person. Emotional detachment is not easy but it surely brings clarity to our senses.

The "Marriage Bed"

Guest — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 22:53:38 -0400

I think the most important thing for me has been to take back the bedroom. Physically and emotionally. It's such a symbol of the marriage - the whole "marriage bed" and everything. I'm still in the middle of my divorce, but was thrilled when someone offered me their slightly used bed. It's on the floor, but I have different sheets and different bedding and it just feels great! I can't wait until everything's final and a can really make the space mine.
-RA

I know what you mean....

Michelle Rosenthal — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 20:15:37 -0400

When Steve moved out, I offered to give him our really nice, pretty new bedding since it was his taste and I couldn't fathom sleeping in a bed that we shared together once he was gone. I ended up giving it away since he didn't want it for the same reasons. I needed to start fresh with my taste and new sheets. I do still sleep on "my side"...I don't know if I'll ever be able to breat that habit!

-Michelle

My Motto: Start Fresh

Tom1962 — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 14:28:46 -0400

I'm in the middle of a divorce/mediation and it's suprising how many of "our" things that I could care less about having. I would rather with over with my own stuff.

Tom

Get Out Of My Bed

Faith Eggers — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:30:00 -0400

I'm getting rid of everything Levi, and in doing so, I feel like I'm taking back my life.

Levi picked out all of our furniture, all of our towels, all of our...well everything. I still have all of this stuff, and I'm sick of it. I never really liked his taste much anyhow. He's really into dark hues, lots of browns — who knew there were so many shades of brown!

So, I've been gifting couches, coffee tables, curtains and more to my friends. I figure whatever is left behind I can donate.

It's not just stuff that I'm trying to rid myself of. There are a lot of habits that come along with living with someone for so long, and even after they're gone, the habits remain hard to break.

You know what I mean: Watching that same TV show every night, the one you used to watch together but now you're watching alone — and you don't even like the freaking show.

Sometimes I still set the timer on the coffee pot because Levi liked me too. The biggest one of all — my bed. What is the deal with that? Can I please have my bed back?

I keep trying to reclaim it. Every night, I make a conscience effort to fall asleep in the middle of the bed, to take up the whole bed. Still, I consistently wake up on "my side." I'm starting to think I should trade in my king for a single, as I don't use it anyway.

Has anyone else run into this?