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Guest — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:07:21 -0400

Oh Esme, I love you, girl! I just found your blog tonight and I have read episodes 1-17 (when I should have been doing other stuff...but I'll get to that tomorrow night). I have laughed so much at your adventures! My cheating SOB husband sounds a lot like yours, although he hasn't paid for hookers (hmmm, or has he? He spent $38,000 on our home equity line of credit without telling me...your post about your ex and the Super Fan got me thinking...). I'm a fan for life - keep writing!

Episode 16: Sexercise

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:22:03 -0400

Having sex is like exercising a muscle. (Discussion re: what it takes to still have muscles at the age of forty-five—irrelevant.) If you don't exercise, your muscles disappear. If you don't have sex, well, apparently your vagina shrivels like a prune. I mean, we've all been fed that phallo-centric myth that estrogen cream is the new, "female Viagra". But take it from the walking wounded...fuck estrogen cream. The real issue is just not doing it anymore. (By the by, have you ever noticed that unlike big words like "phallo-centric," there are no fancy names for "vagina"?)

Seriously, who are you supposed to have sex with when your husband leaves you for a Concubine? (Not a rhetorical question here.) Mess around with the handyman and your re-model is at risk. Drool over Hot School Dad and your integrity, not to mention your reputation (such as it is, no comment), could go waltzing out the door. Suddenly, the days turn into weeks, the weeks to months and for lack of a cuter, testosterone-fueled alternative, you're shopping for Crème de la Femme and a vibrator. I'll be the first to admit (and Annabelle will confirm because she's the one who turned me on to Crème de la Femme in the first place) this was starting to be an eency problem.

firstwivesworld - Episode 16: Sexercise - Comments

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Episode 16: Sexercise