firstwivesworld - Playing The Name Change Game - Comments

Taking back you maiden name

Guest — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:19:56 -0400

After 31 years of marriage, I, too, decided to take back my maiden name. My kids were grown and were for it. I had a good maiden name. Since he remarried as soon as the ink was dry, I didn't want anyone to confuse her with me. It's been almost two years. I can't even count how many people and places I had to notify, 3 hours at the social security office. My home mortgage still isn't right, the loan is, but the property taxes aren't. I still carry a copy of the legal name change paper in my purse. The worst thing is my login at work is based on my name, and they won't change it. So after all this work to get my identity back, I still have to login several times a day with his name. Is it worth it, Yes.

I'm sure it feels like you

Guest — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:45:16 -0400

I'm sure it feels like you have two different identities! Good luck with the process- CM

Playing The Name Change Game

Alice Brooks — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 17:00:00 -0400

I always liked my maiden name. It's sassy. It's memorable. It's fun to say and festive to spell. Jake's last name, not so sassy. Not so festive. Kind of an old-lady-teacher name, actually. Not horrible, just ... clumsy. I wasn't a fan. But I got married at 22 and didn't care back then.

Now that we're divorcing, I'm taking my name back. And no other part of this divorce process has been as tedious.

This in-between stage I'm in, it's confusing. We're not legally divorced yet, so my name isn't legally changed. I use my maiden name for writing, my Web site, my business cards — everywhere I can get away with it. But my bank account, my ID — they're all still under my married name. My colleagues and students know me as my maiden name, but I am paid under my married name. Human Resources is constantly perplexed.

I get confused, sometimes, trying to remember who knows me as what. I don't know which name to cite at the club door or the vet's office. I had to explain on all my rental applications that I'm legally one name, but to ask for a different one when verifying my employment. When Mike flew me out for a wedding, he had to get my ticket under my married name, which felt vaguely uncomfortable and definitely strange.

I carry a list of all the institutions and publications and departments I will have to contact and fax and possibly visit in person to change my name once I am legally able to do so. There are a lot of them, but finally closing this process will be fabulous.

Meanwhile, I have another couple of months to live in this strange little half-state.