Marriage, Mitt-Style

Naomi Dunne — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 12:00:48 -0500

As a recovering Mormon, I love me a good Mormon joke. I love the bigamy jokes and the 15-children-per-family jokes and the magic underwear jokes. But Mitt Romney? Perfection in joke form.

Back in December, there was great hullaballoo in the divorce industry about a new study showing that divorce was bad for the environment. A lot of taxpayer money was spent discovering that two toasters use more energy than one, and the Christian right took the opportunity to claim that this was further evidence that they were correct in saying divorce was the work of the devil.

Now the delightful Bella DePaulo at Huffington Post has taken it upon herself to make the should-have-been-obvious connection between Mitt Romney and the study in question. She wrote a time capsule piece, jokingly looking forward eight years to see what will happen as a result of the environmental study.

"Some are intent on establishing households comprised of just one man and one woman," says her fictitious Romney of the future. "I am a Mormon and Mormons have a long, rich history of living with many people under the same roof. We marry again and again and again, and we stay married each time."

In DePaulo's prediction, while Romney didn't do well in his 2008 presidential bid, he fares much better in 2016 because of his heavy focus on bigamy and the environment.

She also predicts a new discontent among children of this new generation. She says that children who would have believed their parents stayed together for the sake of the kids would finally know the real truth... "Mom and Dad were not protecting them; they were saving the planet."

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Marriage, Mitt-Style