firstwivesworld - What's With All the Emphasis on Sex? - Comments

To each her own.

Randie Thomas — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:44:00 -0500

The last five years of my marriage completely lacked intimacy and prior to that sex occurred maybe three times a year. My husband just wasn't interested; I was! I was faithful to the vows but when it began a definite no turning back on his part of the separation and divorce, I certainly did not rule out hoping for sex again. I am not casually having sex with random guys I meet at bars or restaurants, but yes, I am having what some my call casual sex with one man and it is true we scheduled our second date strictly for sex. I don't regret it at all. I think everyone has their own reasons for their actions. I don't feel a need to have a man in my life, but sex with something other than batteries is awfully nice.

Everyone has her own reasons.

Guest — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:30:56 -0500

You're posing some tough and interesting questions, but I feel there's some judgment here. In your previous post you said, "I happen to find the vast majority of my classmates morally repugnant"--yikes! Here, I think you're saying that a woman who's engaging in casual sex is by definition lacking in self-knowledge and headed for disappointment. Are women not allowed to have casual sex? Is it always a bad idea? Even if you're just coming out of a long-term relationship, who's to say what's "too soon" for the next sexual encounter? What if you didn't have sex with your long-term partner for a long time at the end of that relationship? Can't we discover things about ourselves, do that thing we've always wanted to do, *and* maybe have some casual sex now and again, maybe, at the same time? The women I know are great multitaskers! (P.S. I've got 10 bucks that says that poll cited was done by a research team headed by men and that the questions were leading--just a hunch!)

What's With All the Emphasis on Sex?

Akillah Wali — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 07:27:15 -0500

I mean (some of) you just got divorced. Are you really ready to jump in the sack with someone else? I know I wasn't, so I didn't. I feel compelled to ask, What is it that makes women prematurely seek out relationships and casual encounters? Do they really need a man that badly?

Or is it the fear of being alone that compels someone to look for Mr. Right-Now?

Some of you who are reading this post probably think this has nothing to do with you. You may be right. For others, this may have struck a chord. Either way, I hope everyone stops for a minute and thinks this one through.

To all of you, I ask this question: How well do you really know yourself? You know that you hate peas, love Journey and all that, but what about the difficult questions? Why are you afraid of being alone? How satisfied are you with the last five years of your life? What would you have done differently, had you had the chance? What's that thing you have always wanted to do, given the opportunity?

Here's your chance to find all that out.

I recently stumbled across a poll that reported that 80% of the women regretted having casual sex - sometimes, if not always. That's an awful lot of disappointment to voluntarily add to one's life. Given all the other uncontrollable misfortunes in one's life, why add more problems?