firstwivesworld - I'd Rather Be Single Than a "Detail" - Comments

Hey AJ . . .

Guest — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:56:06 -0500

Consider the source. If the head of his company has been through a revolving door of wives, who is he to hand out relationship advice in the first place? BossMan's priorities obviously focus exclusively on dollars and work, not his marriage. That can be great for professional advancement, but lousy if you're the woman in the background. From BossMan's suggestion to "give her a couple of kids", I'm also assuming that there might be an age difference between your 30-something and BossMan (just a guess . . . I realize that sexism can evidence itself at any age). Why are the kids a gift to HER? Doesn't a well-adjusted man look forward to sharing meaningfully in his children's lives? The last time I checked, a child is the responsibility/joy of both the mother and the father. The question is whether your 30-something shares the same priorities and approach as his company president. More importantly, do you? You will be inundated with his colleagues through the years, many of whom may share these views. If you don't, think twice before committing long-term. Money, looks and success aside, forever is a long time. Good luck!

Hmmmm... it seems that this

Guest — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:03:07 -0500

Hmmmm... it seems that this giver of bad advice has had a bad experience with relationships. I wouldn't write off ll men as having these 'values', but your friend should be wary of bad advice. I don't think having it "ALL" is necessarily a bad thing- we just have to remember not to hurt others in the process. CM

I'd Rather Be Single Than a "Detail"

A.J. Wylder — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:00:41 -0500

And people wonder why I am terrified to marry again...

The other night I met a guy friend of mine for drinks, and we started talking about work, relationships, and money. He told me something quite disturbing.

My friend is a very handsome, educated guy who has never been married. He a successful 30-something with a burning desire to excel in business and make a ton of money, and he is well on his way. And that's what worries me.

Apparently, he had been talking with the head of his company — a financially successful man who has been through like four or five marriages — who advised him that he should "get the details out of the way" and then really focus on his career. In other words, my friend should "get a wife and give her a couple of kids" and then he can really focus on his career.

Hello! What century are we living in?! Get married and "give her a couple of kids"? (As if without children she would have nothing better to do or offer?) What happened to, Find someone you love and raise a family with together?

I have never met my friend's boss, but as a woman I find that mentality very disrespectful (perhaps that's why he has been divorced several times).

What scares me is that I'm afraid this idea is not as rare as I'd like to think, given today's materialistic and greedy society. Men want it ALL and will do whatever it takes to get it.