firstwivesworld - New Generation Of Indian Divorce - Comments

Its only the beginning.

elainemarleneforbes — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:02:29 -0400

No one wants to sentence anyone to an abusive or even an unhappy marriage. Unfortunately if North America is any precedent the rates will just keep going up. I recall the debate in Canada in the 1960s about liberalizing our divorce law. At that time divorce was still rare in the rural area where I lived. I had never known anyone who was from a divorced family or divorced but I knew people in unhappy marriages. I can think of one aunt and uncle in particular. They had lost a child and he had become an alcoholic and abusive. When people argued that liberalizing divorce laws would lead to more marriage breakdowns I thought it was a silly argument. All it would do is free people from miserable lives. When the statute was liberalized there was a flood of divorces. Everyone said this was a blip caused by people who had been living apart for years finally being able to divorce. When the rates continued to go up we said it was because people who had been living in terrible marriages for years now having social permission to call it quits. When it kept going up we thought it was a temporary thing caused by the fact that society was changing and the roles of men and womren were changing. But they just keep going up. Now I don't know anyone who is not affected by divorce. Certainly I am never going to argue that the clock turned back and people in miserable marriages being forced to stay together. But that aunt and uncle that I wished could get a divorce 45 years ago have now been married 65 years and are 87 years old. They have 7 grandchildren and many great grandchildren. They are respected in their community. They are financially comfortable and content.

New Generation Of Indian Divorce

Naomi Dunne — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:00:00 -0500

It seems like every week we report on a new country experiencing an upswing in divorce, and India is no different. I read an eye-opening piece the other day about the rise of Indian divorce, and some of the possible causes.

The article basically said that three things are at the root of the Indian divorce boom. One, couples have more money, making them less dependent on their families for support. Two, women are becoming more economically self-sufficient than ever before, making them less dependent on their husbands. Three, and probably most notably, Western influence has become more ingrained in Indian culture, making the traditional Indian marriage not good enough anymore.

Couples want love, instead of just family-sanctioned baby-making. It seems Indian couples are in a real catch-22. The only way they can break free from traditional cultural norms is to distance themselves from their parents and extended families. If they do that, however, they lose the support structure that is inherent within that way of life. While it's easy to look at a rise in divorce as a bad thing, I think it rarely means that more marriages are failing. It means that just as many marriages are failing, but now the parties involved are empowered enough to do something about it.

The piece referenced one woman, Christina, who ran home to her family because her new husband was beating her and kicking her out of the house in the middle of the night. Her parents' first reaction was the old-style one -- they sent her home and told her to make it work. Later, Christina found out that her husband was gay, and went back to her parents. This time, they welcomed her back, understanding that the marriage wasn't going to work.