Um, you're allowed to have a

Guest — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 09:21:52 -0500

Um, you're allowed to have a bad day- have a cup of tea and realize that this too shall pass. CM

i feel the same way

Guest — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:54:56 -0500

I've noticed something similar myself lately, and usually it hits on Friday nights. I feel OK with being alone, I even cherish many aspects of it, but after a long week at work, on Friday I often feel sad that I don't have a guy to go out with late or to bed with early. Saturday morning is generally no problem, I get my ass out of bed and look forward to the day--and I'm glad it's not going to Friday night for another week.

The Struggle Of Being Alone

Alice Brooks — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:00:00 -0500

Tonight is hard.

Everything is wrong this week. Students have been difficult. I'm fighting with Jake over e-mail. I'm overthinking things with The Boy like I haven't in a while. I haven't slept. I feel empty and exhausted and alone and utterly miserable.

So I'm sitting here in this chair and crying in my empty living room, and what feels the worst is that I am here alone. It's just me. There's no one to hug me, or make me a cup of tea, or just be a presence in the vast and echoing void that is this Friday.

What makes it worse is that, at the same time that it's horrible to be alone, I don't want the alternative. I don't want what I had with Jake back — he was lousy with the hugs and the tea-making anyway. And I'm reasonably certain I don't want anyone else here: I know, for sure, that I don't want to live with anyone. I don't want a roommate. I don't want a partner to move in. I don't even know that I'm ready to be in a same-city relationship.

So how do I reconcile this horrifying loneliness, this feeling of, I am here, in this chair, and there is no one here with me, this wishing someone shared this space and was with me, with all of that I feel in less exhausted and weepy moments?

I would like to sit here and cry without the additional cognitive dissonance.

firstwivesworld - The Struggle Of Being Alone - Comments

Um, you're allowed to have a

i feel the same way

The Struggle Of Being Alone