In my case, ANY

Guest — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:58:05 -0500

I did a dance the day my husband left me for another woman. I had been praying for him to disappear from our househole [yes i meant to spell it that way] where his selfish immaturity has ruined our financial stability. Not to mention that he had left bruises on our infant son 3 times before he was 6 months old. I had been wishing for and anticipating his departure. I knew my best bet was to wait for him to get involved with somebody else and leave of his own accord, for to suggest that he move out would have stirred up a hornet's nest in our home that i did not wish to experience. As soon as he found a job [the 6th or 7th one in a year] which would empower him to actually provide for his family for once, he used it to pursue another woman. His job was short-lived and he has been writing bad checks across the state since then. He badgered me over the holidays because i wouldn't take him back. 3 weeks ago he stole a gun and broke into my house. I had him arrested, and last week the judge made the order of protection PERMANENT. Now our home life is peaceful and loving, and I'm free of the burden and concern of bouncing our kid back and forth between me and psycho boy. I would love for our son to have a father, but he's better off with the consistency and stability of one loving parent then to be subject to a surreal and potentially dangerous dichotomy.

How Much Involvement Is Too Much?

Jennifer Bailey — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:00:00 -0500

Here at First Wives World, we've seen many women struggling with the fact that their ex-husband is not more involved with the kids. Trying to balance work life and home life with children is never easy, and it is very tempting to wish there was another person involved to help relieve the pressure. But have we really stopped to think about what that means?

In this article on Mom Logic, one woman talks about the issues with her custodial plan. I assume that she and her ex live in the same city and therefore her children are able to attend the same school from either parent's house, but here's what the court set up: Mondays through Wednesdays with one parent, Wednesday evening through Saturday morning with the other parent, with weekends alternating between parents. As the author says, "Essentially, the children are being shuttled back and forth every two to three days." Because she's afraid of how the stress of constantly relocating is affecting her kids, she says she lets them get away with more than she used to.

She and her ex don't get along well, and there's a huge communication gap between the two of them. With her children spending so much time there, she feels she is missing out. "No stories about new milestones that I'm missing or life's lessons that the children are learning, no tales of how these beautiful little people are growing or changing when I'm not with them. He has no interest in sharing any of it."

How to raise their children has also become a problem. She doesn't know what he's teaching them when they're with him. She doesn't know if he's respecting the boundaries and controls that she uses with her kids, and she has no control over who the children come into contact with. If he has a new girlfriend, she can only hope that this person is loving and will respect her kids.

firstwivesworld - How Much Involvement Is Too Much? - Comments

In my case, ANY

How Much Involvement Is Too Much?