Not One Big Happy Family

Vicky Emerson — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 08:00:00 -0500

This was said to me recently by my future mother-in-law, and I explained the context in a recent post. Not really the welcome one might expect, right?

What do you do when someone else's divorce starts affecting your life?

This is new territory for me. My ex-husband's parents were married. They didn't like each other all that much, but they were married. My parents have been married almost 40 years. My future husband's parents have been divorced 25 years. Now, to me, that seems like a long time and one would think that perhaps some of that anger would fade away. Not so!

So, I tried to put myself in her shoes. My ex and I did not have children, but I imagined if we had.

Would I like to be at the same parties as my ex?
Would I like to see him on a regular basis because my kids only have time to squeeze in dinner here and there?
Would I like to pretend that we can be friends for my children?
Would I like my new husband to have to also try and interact with my ex?

Well, the answer is a resounding, "NO!" Sometimes, it is hard to see another perspective, but hers is crystal clear now and I will be much more aware how we plan family gatherings considering the situation.

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Not One Big Happy Family