remember that your friends

Guest — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 09:09:33 -0500

remember that your friends love you- and yes, it's hard. Thank goodness you are a strong independent woman who can take care of herself. Love will come around again. Give it time. Love yourself. Good luck! CM

Amen. I understand. All my

Raphaella — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 00:18:42 -0500

Amen. I understand. All my friends are very supportive, but they are all married having their first children. I feel left behind now. I recently told one of them, I feel like I've been thrown off the Island. It's a different experience dating after divorce, vs single life without ever having been married.

Try being 41, somewhat

Randie Thomas — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 11:32:03 -0500

Try being 41, somewhat overweight and disabled and trying to date after being married for almost 22 years and living in a small town...let's just say the choices are very very slim! Good luck Michelle,

They Don't Get How Hard It Is

Michelle Rosenthal — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0500

Sometimes I feel that my single friends overlook the fact that I'm having a difficult time being single and dating again. They say that at least I've experienced love and found someone to settle down with. They look at my divorce and think that just because it was amicable and happened so fast, that it wasn't such a big deal.

They don't understand what it's like to have someone walk out on you after you've invested over six years with them. They don't have to deal with the endless pictures of the guy who broke their heart that appear when they least expect it. They don't understand the lump in your throat every time you say "Mazel Tov" to a newly engaged couple. And they certainly don't understand having relatives call to congratulate you on being a new aunt, following it up with, "I know this was your plan with Steve... are you holding up ok?"

I sometimes think that when I turn to them for advice or to vent about my dating struggles, they don't have as much compassion since they've been single for much longer than I have. What they forget is that I've never dated before and that learning how to date at 29 is hard -- especially in a city like New York where the word "competition" is an understatement.

There are so many single, successful, attractive, independent women in the city. It's a man's dream come true. Seriously, look around. Fat, unattractive men are with stunning women. Short men are with Amazon women. Nerdy guys are with super models. I'm not being shallow, I'm merely observing what I see as I walk down the streets of Manhattan.

It's hard not to think that maybe these women are with them for money, or that they married for status -- so they could be a doctor's wife or a lawyer's wife. I didn't marry for money or for looks, although I take full credit for Steve's metamorphosis into a very good looking guy. I married for love and that was all that mattered.

firstwivesworld - They Don't Get How Hard It Is - Comments

remember that your friends

Amen. I understand. All my

Try being 41, somewhat

They Don't Get How Hard It Is