firstwivesworld - When Do I Get My Life Back? - Comments

Oh no he hasn't...

Cathy Meyer — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 21:50:48 -0500

"He has flushed my credibility down the drain." Only if you allow him to. I went through the same with my credit. and felt the same feelings you are having. We prove how credible and reliable we are by how we handle hard times. It won't be easy but, when you undo the damage he has done you will feel better about yourself than you did before you married him or the entire time you were married to him. He has dumped a mess in your lap but he has also given you an opportunity to show him what you are made of.

your life returns - better than ever

maya — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 02:29:14 -0500

I understand. At the time it seemed to take forever - mine was the ugliest and worst divorce that any of my friends had ever head of. Eight years down the track I no longer have a far better life but I have learned - deeply and intrinsicly - how strong I am and how impenetrable I have become. I went ahead and reared our three children singlehandedly, fighting for child support that would not come - fighting for our survival - fighting for my dignity. I guess that's the bottom line - never forget your dignity. Don't go to his level, you deserve better. You are stronger than you know. You'll pull out of this even better than you had ever imagined. I know - I have done just that. Now I'm a foster parent too, my children mentally healthy around me, gathered together - seeing one another as victors, not victims. Just keep your dignity - and believe in yourself - it will be over soon... xxx

you get it back - a millionfold

maya — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 02:27:52 -0500

When Do I Get My Life Back?

A.J. Wylder — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 10:00:00 -0500

It is times like these when I wish that I lived out in the middle of nowhere so I could climb a mountaintop, take in a deep breath and just scream at the top of my lungs.

Going through the emotional aspects of a divorce is one thing, but the financial and legal aspect of it all — co-owned houses, co-signed loans, etc. — is just downright frustrating.

I have to give kudos to those women who have children and are divorced or are soon to be divorced and, as a result, must still deal with the ex, face custody battles and so on. I can't even imagine the pain and frustration that causes.

It has been more than a year that I've been dealing with the financial details of my divorce, and now it looks like it will be at least another four months until it is all over. And, to make things worse, I will not come out of it unscathed. At this point, it seems pretty certain that — thanks to him — my once-flawless credit will be ruined for a few years until I can build it back up.

Ever since I was old enough to have a job and a credit card, I have done my best to do everything right. I did my best to be responsible and paid everything on time and my credit score reflected that. Now, thanks to a selfish ex, none of that matters. He has flushed my credibility down the drain.

Each day I battle feelings of failure and vulnerability. I just want my life back — my life before I ever met my ex.