Learning To Say "I'm Sorry"

Samantha Louis — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 10:15:00 -0500

"Say ‘thank you' without hesitating. Say ‘sorry' without being scared. Say ‘I love you' without being shy."

Welcome to the National Teishu-Kampaku Association — or the Chauvinistic Husbands Association — where buttoned-up Japanese businessmen are making these culturally uncharacteristic vows in an effort to save their faltering marriages.

Shuichi Amano, a magazine editor by trade, started the group back in 1999 after attempting his own last ditch effort to save a marriage of more than 20 years.

Along the way he stumbled upon a social phenomenon in which a growing number of Japanese women have begun suing their husbands for divorce once the men retire. The aim of the women, apparently, is to bring an end to longstanding marital problems caused by the
indifference of their husbands.

"Many husbands are making a living managing risks at their businesses, but they neglect the ones at home," Amano, 55.

"The old ways don't work anymore and we husbands have to get out of our little fantasy of having ultimate power over our wives. We have to show our ability to change ourselves for the sake of our marriage," he
said.

Through his own experience and interviews with women, Amano discovered that, with women, everything boils down to their desire to hear their husbands repeatedly say "three magic phrases:" "Thank you," "Sorry," and "I love you."

Amano describes his technique — while is presently being used by over 4,000 Japanese men — as "smileage," or husbands fostering the goodwill of their wives.

Smileage. That's our new favorite word.

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Learning To Say "I'm Sorry"