The more that we get rid of

Guest — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 15:52:38 -0400

The more that we get rid of the idea that divorce is a bad word, then those who have been through it can start to heal and move on. It takes time- and support.

Debra Mandell

Guest — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 08:38:58 -0400

Rumor is that debra will be on Debbie Nigro's Show soon

Divorce Is An Emotional Rollercoaster

Rachel Small — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 08:34:13 -0400

On NBC's "Today Show" yesterday, psychologist Debra Mandel explored the range of emotions that can be experienced in a divorce. She says these feelings are present in both short and long-term marriages, and even if it was a mutual breakup. In effect, she says: No divorce is free of emotional pain which I'm sure many of you will agree with.

Recently divorced women have an urgent need to understand their emotional rollercoaster. They should expect feelings ranging from betrayal, guilt, failure, abandonment, rejection, anger, despair, hopelessness, fear and relief. For most, the betrayal of trust is the hardest emotion to overcome, especially if there was cheating.

It takes time to heal, so don't jump into dating and another relationship, for it's likely you will end up with the same type of partner. It takes time to be ready for dating—anywhere from six to 12 months or longer.

The range of feelings will linger, especially if custody and financial issues are not solidly resolved. In due time, you must "learn to forgive, let go and move on,"the psychologist says.

Mandel has accurately summarized the extent of emotional issues. Most divorced women I've known have experienced these feelings. The intensity will vary according to what happened in your marriage. It's easier to enumerate and recognize the emotions, but it's so much more difficult to shed them. Forgiveness is not a simple process. But children can often help overcome the barriers, since the parents will be attached through them for years to come.

Divorced women must feel these emotions in order to start the healing process. It's a bit easier for those who have financial security, a job and the necessities of life. In my opinion, if there was no financial settlement or a marital home, the economic realities make the anger, fears and anguish, longer lasting.

firstwivesworld - Divorce Is An Emotional Rollercoaster - Comments

The more that we get rid of

Debra Mandell

Divorce Is An Emotional Rollercoaster