When I was 15 years old my mother sat me down for a heart-to-heart chat. "Sweetheart," she said, "Before you get married you should sleep with as many men as possible. That way you will know what you like in bed and won't marry someone who you aren't compatible with."

You may have guessed that my mom was not the most traditional woman, but at that age I figured she was telling me something that every mom told their daughters. Little did I know then that she was setting me up for some real heartache as an adult.

Needless to say, I entered into my marriage with far more sexual experience than my husband. He had a couple of sexual encounters before we met, but he was a bit of an introvert and didn't date much. As for me, let's just say that I can count the number of men I have slept with on my fingers and toes, but if I were to get into an accident and lose a few digits, I wouldn't be able to anymore.

It's not something that I'm proud of, and I will absolutely not be giving the same advice to my daughter at that tender age.

I wonder if this big difference in experience has anything to do with our sexual issues. It isn't as though I consciously lament about how my husband is as good as so-and-so or doesn't do the same freaky things what's-his-name did, but I can't help but think that these comparisons might be going on somewhere inside my mind.

I will admit, though, that although my husband puts in a good effort in bed sometimes, he's not the best I ever had. I can't help but wonder if it would be better to not know the difference to begin with.