Well, I have had the pleasure of blogging for First Wives World for nearly a year now and this is my last post. I will miss your comments, insights, honesty, and stories. I believe in the mission of FWW to foster a community for women who are survivors of divorce. As I prepare for my second wedding, I have had the opportunity to reflect on my life through my weekly contributions.

The one piece of wisdom that I am the most sure of is that the time after your divorce is crucial for self-discovery and inner happiness. Look in the mirror and ask, "Who am I and what do I want?" Then, go find the answers. Uncovering the mysteries within ourselves is a unique process for each individual. But the end result is beautiful — realizing your truest self.

You don't have to cater to anyone or try to mold yourself into something because of an unrealistic expectation. Be yourself. Respect and love yourself. Because as soon as you realize who you are and own it, that is when others — male and female — begin responding to YOU. Not to someone you are trying to be, but the person you really are. You don't have to pretend anymore. You can be yourself and those around you will love you for it.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and if you'd like to stay in touch, please visit my Web site or my MySpace page.

When I was a kid, the people I looked up to are quite a bit different than those I look up to now. I still admire my parents and respect their relationship, which has produced a 40-year marriage.

Of course when I was a kid, I was enamored with Michael Jackson (he still looked like a human being then), my piano teacher, Christa McAuliffe, Madonna (who didn't?) and the ultimate teenage heartthrob, Johnny Depp.

My life is clearly much different now and I haven't used a Trapper Keeper in many years (decades?) to display my undying adoration for my idols. Today, I look up to people who follow their heart, who have a passion, who don't follow the status quo, and who aren't afraid to take a few risks to fulfill their dreams.

I admire women and men who have grit and tenacity, who work hard, who push themselves to realize a goal and still maintain a good sense of humor. When I was a kid, my role models were the people I saw on TV or heard on the radio.

There are still a few folks in the media that may match my current criteria, but overall, the folks I look up to are my peers and many of them I feel fortunate to call friends.

So, FWW readers, who do you look up to?

Well, the invitations went out for the wedding. I wanted a small wedding of 75 guests or so, but 300 people were invited to the big day. The RSVPs are arriving and there are way more people coming than we ever thought since, we are hosting a destination wedding.

This is my fiancé's first wedding and my second. My guest list was a lot smaller than his, but many of those invited attended my first wedding. That means they bought me a gift.

Etiquette says that these guests are not required to bring another gift to my second wedding. I looked it up on the "official" wedding dos and don'ts on The Knot, a Web site my fiancé knew about and I didn't. I know, I'm a bad bride.

Anyway, I am not sure how to bring this up to my friends and family. I talked to my mom and she said people will want to give us something because they like my fiancé so much. Which is all well and good, but I feel sorta like a mooch.

Am I supposed to send out a little email notification before the wedding to my peeps or post a short message on our registry? I am hoping that word gets out and folks don't feel obligated to bring a gift.

Statistics are not in my favor. Second marriages have a higher percentage of failure than first marriages. Not that I am a gambler, but I don't really like my odds.

In two months, I will marry...again. I feel that I am making a very solid decision and that my judgment is sound this time around. However, I'm sure if you would have asked me 10 years ago when I married my first husband, I probably would have told you the same thing.

Why do second marriages fail? This truly perplexes me, because know I never want to go through another divorce. Never. Perhaps some individuals remarry only to find that a second marriage was another bad choice and, since they have already been through the divorce process, it is easier to jump ship. I've had some friends do this and some are even planning their third wedding.

Personally, I feel that my second marriage truly is a second chance, and I am committed to making our marriage work — no matter what.

Great Expectations is a classic by Charles Dickens... the title kind of describes where I'm at right now. Expectations of greatness and grandeur seem to be plaguing me a lot as my second wedding approaches in April.

I recently read Akillah Wali's posting "The Worst Kind of Abuse." I could totally relate. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we constantly put the weight of the universe on our shoulders? I am not sure, but my Super Woman cape is a bit tattered and torn.

I have always been goal-oriented and pushed myself to the brink of burnout time and time again. As I've gotten older, I can see the warning signs a bit better and am able to rein myself in before I totally shut down.

But these days, I'm navigating in unchartered waters. I feel that I can handle the expectations of my career and also within my relationship with my fiancé. The problem I'm having is the anxiety of meeting the expectations surrounding my second wedding. There are expectations of our guests, of my family and my future in-laws (of which there are many) and then the expectations I have for myself.

I want the perfect day, but I don't want to drive myself crazy before I get there.

Well, I guess we each take a turn getting beat by the life stick and some of those difficult life lessons sting more than others. After my divorce, I was convinced I'd never be happy again and I was the glass half-empty girl for a long time.

Snapping out of a funk takes me a lot longer than sinking into one. For some reason, when things go wrong, I can sit and stew and stew and stew, wrapping myself in negative thoughts.

Attitude is everything isn't it? Turning that glass half empty to half full is a mindset. It's a decision to look at your life and see the positives rather than the negatives. In essence, to see your life as half-full rather than half-empty. For example, instead of seeing a failed marriage, you could see the opportunity to grow as a woman and become empowered by the strength inside you to recover.

But, some days, it is really hard to see the positive in your life and it may feel like life is picking on you. It's natural to say, "Why me?" or "Why now?"

This is something I struggle with this even now. I've been told that to change your mindset requires dedicated focus on the positives and letting go of the negativity and the things you cannot control. I guess I'm a work in progress.

I listen to a lot of music and a lot of different types of music. Sometimes, I am more aware of the lyrics than others and find it amusing that after listening to a certain song for over five years, one day the meaning behind the song will have a direct impact on my life on that very day.

That is the power of music.

It is for that very reason that I have made my living as a songwriter. The ability to tell your story through a song that will reach a total stranger on level that makes them weep, laugh, give them comfort — that feeling is unmatchable. I love songs that I listen to and think, "Well at least I'm not alone in feeling this way!"

Music can be inspiring. It can lift your spirits or capture a moment so well that the song can become "your song." Many couples find artists and songs that encompass feelings within their relationship.

So, FWW readers, what inspires you?

Some years are harder than others. The year after my divorce was tough. I remember willing myself to get out of bed and go to my job only to come home and not really know what to do except go back to bed. It was a survival mode for me.

Then, time did me the favor of healing those wounds and also gave me the process of self-discovery. It was exhilarating to uncover hidden talents and desires that had been suffocated by my ex-husband.

Then, I met my fiancé and was given the gift of love. We have shared our good moments and certainly challenging ones, too. I felt a weight lifted off of myself as I realized that my fear of living a life of solitude would be no more.

The last few months, I have found myself steadily falling back into that old survival mode. The issue this time is not my relationship with my fiancé, but with other people in my life that have been very important to me. As 2008 enters its second month, I find myself up against a hard year.

I am back in Minnesota doing a couple shows and also making my debut on the one of the major TV channels here. TV interviews and performances are always a little weird, but it's great PR.

There is a lot of snow on the ground and the sky is a slate shade of gray, a color it will keep until spring. I always get a case of the winter blues and I am definitely catching it here.

Perhaps it's the lack of sunshine, or maybe I am missing my fiancé, or maybe I'm burned out. The thing about being a performer is if you aren't performing, you're not making any money. Vacations are pretty nonexistent in this profession, but I've decided to take one anyway.

The last vacation I took was several years ago. It was shortly after my divorce was finalized. I was emotionally burned out. This time, I'm burned out from being on the road. I wake up and don't even know where I am anymore.

It's hard for me to slow down. I was raised in way that made my work ethic strong, but left very little time for vacations or down-time. I also feel that as a woman, I think it's hard for us to say, "Hey, I need a break." But recharging the battery is in order and long overdue.

I have a gig coming up in New York City around Valentine's Day and the venue has requested that I do a set of love songs. Luckily, this gig is now instead of five years ago when I was fresh off my divorce. I would have had to turn it down due to the complete nonexistence of love songs in my catalogue!

Anyway, as I was going through my songs — new and old, sorting through the sentiments where love is directed at an individual or the sensation of love, I thought about those that I love in my life.

I love my family. I think my parents are incredible well-rounded people who are extremely caring and overall wonderful folks.

I love my fiancé. He is a strong, caring, sensitive man with a wicked sense of humor who takes care of me when I need it and gives me the room to still enjoy my independence.

I love my girlfriends. Who doesn't, right? A strong support group of women you can talk with, cry with, laugh with and shop with. Priceless!

I love my fans. As cheesy as this is, it is true. They allow me to do what I do for a living. In exchange, I write music that touches them in some way.

Myself. I took a long, long time to get here, but I enjoy the woman I have become. I have grown into a person that has learned to accept shortcomings and flaws and appreciate my talents and gifts.

Who do you love?