Unfaithful: Infidelity Takes on a New Meaning for Christian Couples

Unfaithful: Infidelity Takes on a New Meaning for Christian Couples

Posted to by Dwann Olsen on Wed, 02/24/2010 - 10:14am

I have such a low tolerance for marriage mates (male or female) who dishonor their vows via infidelity.

I really would describe it as the ultimate betrayal and just pure selfish. Needless to say, with all the talk about Tiger Woods’ apology and his newfound commitment to his mom’s faith, I figured I might as well chime in.

At first, I was going to name this post “Why Tiger Woods Is Better Than Most Christian Cheats” For real! lol

My thought was, heck, at least he’s apologizing to his WORLD of FANS, when it appears most preachers and Christian leaders who get “caught” or caught-up can barely apologize to their families, let alone their church congregations or ministry supporters who they truly owe some sort of apology to.

I mean, the real bottom line is Tiger doesn’t owe an apology to any of us. Because the fact of the matter is, it really is a personal situation. However, when you are careless and reckless about your marriage and your vows to the tune that YOU invite the world in based off of your behavior, watch out!

See, once you’ve experienced infidelity within the confines of a “Christian marriage” you really do look at things a bit differently. Here again, it’s one of those situations where you have to insist, “Unless you’ve walked in my shoes, don’t judge me or tell me how to judge my situation”

My point is, for those “Christians” or “Believers in Christ” who really take their faith seriously, experiencing infidelity is probably the last thing you’d ever imagine you’d deal with in your covenant marriage. Let alone divorce.

I sure didn’t!

But divorce, infidelity, and abuse appears to be happening at record speeds in Christian marriages, right along with everyone else. Nevertheless, once it happens to you, you really do just want to crawl under a rock and give up.

Though the circumstances help usher you into another level of intimacy with your God, on the other hand, you also are FORCED into dealing with emotions and hurts one can only really explain, once you’ve been there. Of course you deal with the obvious shame, rejection, and embarrassment. But how do you explain or come to terms with it, when you KNOW God ordained your covenant marriage?

What’s the purpose in that?

Why would God allow it?

How could God allow it?

Good questions, huh?

Unfortunately, questions that may also go unanswered and hidden if we Christian Divorcees don’t truly vow to be transparent before God as we walk through this healing journey.

What hidden issues are preventing you from healing through this divorce process?

Back to Tiger: Yep, his words were great and he looked and sounded sincere. Sounded a bit angry at times to. But the bottom line is, whether or not his actions will meet up with his words. And just like in most cases of infidelity, dishonor and dishonesty, only time will tell. Question is: Will Elin find it within herself to forgive, allow him to rebuild trust, and to most importantly realize there was NOTHING she could do to change the outcome, because in actuality it wasn’t and isn’t about her — it’s about him and his inner demons that he’s allowed to take over.

Comments

Christian Infidelity

Dwann, I read not to long ago that George Barna's research shows that as many Christian couples get divorced as atheist couples...UGH! That doesn't seem to make any sense at all. However, you are exactly right about exposing the hidden issues. My prayer is that Christians will create a safe place for divorcees to be transparent. A place where they are heard and not judged by legalism. And as far as the Tiger situation goes it sickens me to think how many women are deceived by the Enemy into believing that they are at fault for the man's actions of infidelity (or vice-versa for men). However, if Elin does realize Tiger's issue was never about her to begin with but Tiger's unhealthiness in trying to find some sort of meaning for his life in a place (or places) it doesn't exist, then Elin may have the strength and courage to forgive, even though Tiger, like us and our relationship with our Father, may never deserve that sort of grace.

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