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So I’m finally going to get divorced. I’ve decided. It’s for real this time. And what led me to this decision, you ask?
I need a passport. My career has finally started to take off, and I’ve been invited to a few conferences in the U.S. I live in Canada, and the rules are changing about the identification you need to cross the border. I used to be able to get away with just my birth certificate, but now they want a passport.
The trouble is, I’ve already changed my name to my new husband’s. My health card, my bank card, my credit cards all use my new name. If I get a passport, they’ll have to use my old name, which belongs to my soon-to-be ex-husband.
This is obviously not acceptable, so I’m getting divorced.
Like I said in last week’s post, my future mother-in-law is starting to get nervous. She’s looking to see her first-born son get married, and I can hardly blame her. All this living in sin and making bastard babies must be stressful on her.
There might be more stupid reasons to get divorced, but if there are, I haven’t heard of them.
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Name change
I don't really get why women these days change their names when they get married. I grew up in the seventies and there was a woman's movement and women kept their names. Now women are going back to taking on a man's name which is a subservient move at best. Even Hillary Clinton has acquiesced. When Bll first ran for president, she was Hilary Rodham. Now 'Rodham' seems like a distant memory. Ladies, keep your identity. I man will love you for who you are, name and all. And if you do get divorced, just think how much simpler your lives will be.
Hmmm.
I see what you're saying, but I don't think of it as subservience. I think of it as tradition. I don't think my "man" wouldn't love me, name and all, if I didn't take his name. I think I wasn't even old enough to vote when I stopped using my maiden name, which I neither liked nor identified with.
As far as simplicity goes, I think when it comes to divorce that changing my name has been the least of many women's problems.
Women's liberation is about the freedom to make any choice I want - not the choice the women's movement wants me to make. I'm choosing to take my husband's name, and I think true proponents of the Liberation Movement would support that.
Agreed.
"Women's liberation is about the freedom to make any choice I want - not the choice the women's movement wants me to make" ---- I agree 100%, couldn't have said it better myself!
xo,
Faith
Agreed but....
There's no doubt that women's liberation is about freedom. Liberation means freedom after all. But in the act of taking a man's name, you are subordinating yourself, which is fine if that's what you want to do. But recognize the implications of your choice: upholding a tradition that stems from a paternal system. If you keep your name, it helps keep your identity centered within yourself.
name change
I agree, I changed my name 7 years ago when I got married and I'm sorry I did. It's been a disaster .my married name is Smith and every time I try to do anything....there are 85 other Smiths that haven't paid their bills going to the doctor is worse... . now I use an alias my other married name Stahlnecker and only use Smith for
legal purposes.... I wish I had never changed my name....if you can don't do it....
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your grandma