It doesn't always say something about the person having the affair. It is a symptom of problems in the relationship, not with one person. And let's be honest, how many people would be rationtal if their partner came to them with "I want to explore"?

Sex is sex. It all depends on our perspective/belief of what it means at the time. Like Julie stated, people have sex with strangers and it means nothing. On the other end, there are people who have sex with their partners most nights and are considered to have a good marriage, but still engage in affairs. Thus, WHY do we still focus mainly on the relationship as the cause for the affair? A person's approach and beliefs about sex and affairs are a reflection of themselves at the deepest spiritual, emotional, and physical levels. No one perspective is "better" than the other, but is has more to do with what actions and thoughts serve our highest selves or are continually self-sabotaging the very types of lives we want. Someone having an affair is truly lacking something inside themselves to deal with why they are choosing that behavior and what need they are seeking to be fulfilled (which is most often not about fulfilling a sexual need, even though it looks like it on the outside). In each moment and in the end, the only place that we can really change in dramatic ways in within ourselves which will then shift those things outside of ourselves. It is time for people to turn the finger around and point it back to themselves. Not to induce guilt, shame, anger, etc. at themselves because that only results in depression. Rather, we then take ownership of not only how we approach our lives, but what we make others' words and actions mean about us, influence our own dynamic in life, and the choices we make. If more of us did that, more people would not have affairs, there would be many more healthier, life-affirming relationships, and those that are cheated on would be able move deeper and better through the healing process, coming out the other side viewing the situation as one of the best things that ever happened. I truly speak from experience.