My uncle and his girlfriend were married yesterday. They've been together for 16 plus years. I've already taken to calling his girlfriend my aunt. It's just easier that way.

I used to ask them years and years ago when they were going to get married. My uncle would always say something like, "Who needs to get married?" When the Levi disaster happened, I must admit that I started to feel the same way.

So you can only imagine my surprise when I opened up my e-mail yesterday, yes, my e-mail, to find a message from my uncle that said the following:

Faith,

Janice and I are getting married at 5 today at the house. We need you to come over and be a witness.

I thought that he was kidding so I called him. Nope, he was serious.

They were married at 5:00 p.m., in front of their house, underneath their cheery tree. It was only the two of them, the Justice of The Peace, Adrian, and me. Still, it was beautiful. It was perfect.

I realized yesterday how absolutely jaded I am now. How whenever someone tells me that they're getting married or I hear of someone getting married, my instant reaction is "Why!?" I think to myself, Why would you want to screw up a perfectly good relationship by going and getting married?

I also realize how silly that sounds.

Marriage is not the enemy, nor is it something to fear. Marriage is hard work, but can also be filled with happiness, love, and security.

These two are perfect for one another. The amount of time they've spent together thus far proves that. I don't know if it's possible but I hope that somehow in marriage, there bond can grow even stronger.

Congratulations, guys!

Sometimes I wonder if I still have feelings for Levi. There, I said it. I suppose this makes me even more human.

Intellectually, I'm sure that I don't. I know that I literally despise what he's done to my son, and I know that I do not have any respect for him, whatsoever, anymore.

But there are moments that I'll reminisce about things he and I did together, and I'll smile. But there are moments where I still miss him. But there are moments when we are SCREAMING at each other, where I'm like, wow. You can't scream at an ex you don't care about, right? You can't scream because you're indifferent, right?

I've had breakups in the past — one big one — and I recall going through these same motions; the pain and devastation, the crying, the name calling and yelling, and then the indifference, which carries you to where you can see each other on the street and stop to say hello.

I recall going through those motions, and I extract comfort from that from time to time in a this-to-shall-pass kind of way. Problem is, these motions went much faster the first time around.

And truthfully, it's really not even me. I mean, I get it that it takes two to tango, but I don't scream at Levi. I try not to engage in arguments with him. I try not to stoop to childish name calling. He, on the other hand, can not control himself. He is incapable of a civil conversation. I cannot understand it.

I have done nothing to warrant this behavior. I have done nothing to deserve his constant verbal abuse. Yet, it happens. Yet, he acts like he hates me.

I am reminded of the boy in grade school that used to pull my hair and make me cry. Later, he told me that he had a crush on me.

No, I don't have feelings for Levi. But maybe he still has them for me?

I dumped another boy today. We'd been seeing each other for about a month. A month seems to be the cut-off point for me now.

The reasons are different every time but ultimately boils down to the same thing over and over again: I have a son. I have a son that demands much of my time; being a parent requires much responsibility, being a single parent requires even more. I have a son that I will love more than any boyfriend, ever, period.

I always lay this out, in different words/ways, right from the start. The men always seem to get it, but for some reason that inevitable "wow" moment always happens upon us. For Art (the latest dumpee), that day was today.

Things have been going great. We've been having tons of fun, no issues, no drama, just straight-up fun. Last night was no exception. We went out, we had a blast. We made plans to do something today, as we both had the day off.

It turned out to be a beautiful day. One of those first spring days where you can't not go outside. He called in the morning as planned and we decided to take a hike. I suggested he meet me at my house, and said that I'd drive (I have the car seat in my car).

That's when he started to freak out. He started stammering and actually said at one point, "Oh God." To which I replied, "What?" "Nothing," he said, and stammered some more. Clearly this was not nothing, and I wasn't about to let it go.

Finally, after much prying, he said, "Well, it feels a little too familial, maybe you should just enjoy your day with Adrian and we'll meet up later." Ummmm, okay. He caught me totally off guard. I honestly had no idea where this was coming from and I started to get pissed off. I told him fine, said, "I'll do that" and muttered something like, "I'll call you later."

I went out for dinner with my cousin Ariel and my new step-sister, Terry. The three of us have never gotten together before, but we're all roughly the same age, and we had an absolute blast. We must do it again.

We had dinner at a restaurant that Ariel works at, which was great because she knew exactly what to order, and more important, what not to order. We each had a drink and it wasn't long before we were dishing about everything from boots to boys and laughing up a storm.

My cousin is in her first "real" relationship with a what sounds like a really great guy. They just moved in together and she seems really happy. I asked her how things were going, and she gave me what I call, "the look." You know, the look that says, not bad, not good, but rather, "eh." That look. So, I asked her, "What's up?"

She told us that she's completely in love with him, that she still misses him when they're apart, that they make each other laugh like crazy.

At this point, Terry and I exchanged looks that said "What the $%$ is her problem, then?"

She went on to say that being that it's her first real relationship, she scared that maybe she is settling and can do better. Oh, I remember feeling that way with my first boyfriend, too. Don't you?

Terry and I assured her that if she's in love with him, and they laugh and she still misses him when they're apart, that she should stay put.

The boyfriend-in-question then walked in and said, "Hey, this looks like an episode of Sex In The City," and we shut up.

A few others joined us, we went to another place for more drinks and more conversation. We stayed out much later than we should — or I stayed out much later than I should have.

Since things with my boyfriend took a turn toward serious, thoughts of my ex, Levi, have been invading my brain again. During the day, I can, and do, push them away.

When I'm sleeping, however, it's a whole different story. I keep having all of these weird dreams about him, and I don't know how to make them stop.

For instance, last night I had a dream that I was in a ramshackle cabin with my boyfriend, Aaron. The place was filthy, I mean really, really gross; there were rats all over the place, food everywhere, etc. Aaron and I are lying in bed, and he announces that he is going to go to the kitchen to make tea.

Aaron leaves the room and moments later, Levi walks in and climbs in bed with me. Levi looked like himself, but something about him felt off — he felt hollow, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, he gets in bed with me, and I'm happy that he's there and we kiss. Then, Aaron walks in and is obviously upset, Levi asks him to leave, and he does.

As soon as Aaron leaves, Levi gets out of bed and looks at me with a very satisfied look and tells me he'll be right back. He never comes back, and I am left there in this dark, dirty, disgusting cabin, all alone feeling hollow and empty.

I woke up with the same feeling.

What does this mean? What is going on here? I thought I was over this, and now suddenly I feel like I miss Levi?!

I felt like this is what I wanted with Aaron — I felt like I wanted a real relationship again. Now I'm not so sure. Suddenly I feel suffocated, like I can't breathe. I feel like I never get a moment to myself, I feel like I need to be alone for quite some time.

And I feel really sad, too, because Aaron is truly a great guy, and I wish with all my heart that I was ready for him.

I realized that since Levi and I split up, I have a tendency to sabotage new, potential relationships. It usually goes something like this: I meet a new guy, we go on a few dates and have a great time. I really start to like him, then suddenly I find myself over-analyzing everything that he does and becoming very annoyed by the slightest of things and breaking it off with him.

For example: I broke up with a really great man because I couldn't stand the way he held his spoon while he ate cereal, pretty stupid, right?

So, recently I was out with a few girlfriends and the subject came up. Although only one of them had been divorced, the other two had experienced significant relationships that ended badly and left them scarred. We all have that in common. We also have all been engaging in this self-sabotaging behavior in our new relationships since then. No wonder we're such great friends!

Being divorced is traumatic, we can all agree with that. Trauma can cause self-sabotaging behavior, so it wasn't a surprise to me when I discovered that divorced women are high on the list of people who sabotage new relationships. Some experts say that in relationships, divorced women use self-sabotage as a way of feeling safe.

It's scary to go back out there and to feel vulnerable again. It's terrifying to think of all of the "what ifs" and it's incredibly hard to trust someone again.

Think you might be self-sabotaging? It's time for a change! Here's a list of 10 steps to detect and stop self-sabotage.

Last week, I wrote asking readers advice about the new guy I was seeing. He and Levi share the same birthday — I wrote that I was blown away by that, and wondered if I should consider that to be a sign. One reader's response blew me away again, and I instantly knew she was right. Here's what she said:

"To me, the guy having the same birthday as my ex wouldn't be a big deal — but my feeling that it was a sign would. What I mean is, think about why you were so blown away by the same birthday thing. Maybe there are other things about this new guy that remind you of Levi as well.

Is the rapport you are feeling because of a feeling of familiarity — like putting on a comfortable pair of old gloves? I am not saying that this is the case, or that you should immediately get rid of this new guy — but keep thinking and paying attention to your gut as girltest suggests to determine if there are other signs that you initially missed. If yes, be on your way, if no, then maybe the birthday thing is not a big deal."

The feeling of familiarity is what struck me the most. She was absolutely correct — that was what was bothering me. Levi and the new guy, Nigel, are so similar that they are almost one and the same. I don't know how I could have missed it.

He loves talking about himself, and how great he is. He loves taking me out and trying to woo me with is money — he even offered me a substantial loan! It wasn't long before he started offering up his unsolicited, unwarranted, and unwanted opinion in regards to some of the most intimate details of my life — like how I choose to raise my son, how I choose to deal with Levi, etc. Topics that most people would recognize are off limits for someone that you are casually dating.

Unfortunately the whole thing ended badly, but at least it ended before I became too involved.

A while back — months ago — a good friend of mine told me that she was up to no good.

I've always had a lot of respect for her, as she seems to be the one that is always together. You know: owns a home, holds down a good job, gets along well with her parents and never really has any drama in general. I was very intrigued to know what it was that she was up to.

Well, she dropped a bomb. She told me that she had been sleeping with a married man. She went on to say that she didn't feel guilty about it, that there were issues in their marriage that had nothing to do with her — in her opinion, it was their problem.

I told her that in my opinion, she was completely wrong — that no woman should do that to another woman, period. I went on to tell her that this guy is clearly a liar — along with the slew of other names I called him — and that this was going to come back to bite her in the ass for sure.

Well, she kept doing it, and I tried to keep my opinions to myself. She decided that she couldn't talk to me about it, that my opinion was biased and that I was taking it all too personally because of what I went through with Levi. The whole thing made me sick, and truth-be-told I lost a lot of respect for her.

When I finally came to terms with the fact that Levi and I were never going to be together again, I had a whole slew of emotions, but the biggest one was fear.

I was primarily afraid of being alone, afraid of trying to make it on my own, afraid of change in general. I kept thinking to myself: Who the hell is going to want to date me now? A young girl with an infant — they're going to be running for the hills, right?

Wrong!

Recently I've been so inundated by men that it’s freaky! They're all over the place, and they're all over me. My phone rings nonstop, my inbox is constantly full, I could have a date every night if I wanted to. It’s weird. It's fun, and I enjoy the attention, but I am so not interested in having a relationship. I explain this to all of these men — and they're men, so you'd think it would be easy.

I tell them all that I'm not interested in a relationship, and then they pursue me more. It’s ridiculous. I remember when I was interested in having a relationship, I couldn't find a man anywhere. Now, I'm not interested and they're beating down my door.

I spoke to a fellow First Wives World blogger about this. Her theory is that men just love the pursuit. They like to get what they've been told they can't have. I'm beginning to agree with her.

Anyhow, if anyone needs a date, let me know!

So why, why, why do old men think that they have a shot with me? What is the matter with them?! Seriously old guys, stop it. Just stop it. It's never going to happen — again.

Levi is in his 40s, so there was a significant age difference. When we first met, it freaked me out, but I was so awe struck by him that I didn't care. I now know that I was just young and stupid — and that's just what these other "old guys" are banking on.

Well, I've learned my lesson. I've learned that the reason that older men hit on younger girls is not because we're more attractive, have less baggage, or are "sweeter." It's because we're inexperienced and don't know any better. It's because women their own age realize how ridiculous and pathetic they are and won't have them.

And what's worse, most of them are these sniveling, boring, insecure rejects that feel a constant need to tell me about the "really hot model" they slept with the night before, or the hordes of women that just fall in love with them, and how badly they feel when they have to reject them. Yeah right.

Before everyone gets in an uproar, I'm not saying this is true of all older men — just all the older men that hit on me.

The problem is, men my age rarely hit on me. What's the deal?