I know we're supposed to be talking about divorce here, but I want to interject for a moment, and tell you all about my dad. My therapist seems to think that my relationship, or rather, lack of a real relationship with my father, is extremely relevant to the topic at hand.

My father is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He's a lying, manipulative and abusive person. He makes me absolutely nuts.

I can't even tell you how hard it is for me to admit this, it's so embarrassing.

He's probably been this way my whole life, but being that I was so young, I didn't realize it. It all became apparent though, by the time I was 13, and he went to jail for the first time. At least the first time that I know about.

He went to jail, he got out, he made my life hell — taking me with him to cop drugs, driving around drunk with me in the car, saying nasty, belligerent and inappropriate things to me and to my friends — then he went back to jail again. The process would repeat itself over and over and over again. Except sometimes jail would be substituted with a stint in the hospital and a promise that everything was going to change.

It's 15 years later, and he's still doing the same thing.

He's in Virginia now — just got out of jail again. Of course, it was someone else's fault. It always is.

After he was released from jail this time, the state (I think) paid for him to stay at a motel, for a week. He called me while he was there, telling me that he had a job and a plan, etc. etc. etc. The next call I got was from a social worker at a psychiatric hospital, informing me that my father was there and that she'd like to speak to me.

She's seen him in and out of there before, and it seems that now she believes that he is totally incompetent, and incapable of taking care of himself. On some level, I agree. She feels that he needs to be basically committed to a psychiatric treatment facility for a year, or more, against his will.

Again, on some level, I agree. Which is good for her because she needs someone to agree with her, and go to court, and sign the papers, and agree to take care of my father — or at least make all of his decisions for him. She thinks that person should be me.

I want to say no. I want to say, "This is not my problem. He's the parent; hasn't he done enough damage already? Leave me alone!" But I don't have the "balls" to do that.

I don't want this responsibility. I don't want this put on me. And I don't think its fair to ask me. After all, he has seven brothers and two sisters. Why can't they do it?

I don't want to do this, but I don't know how to say no. Can anyone relate to that?