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Redefining Myself

Posted to House Bloggers by Akillah Wali on Wed, 04/23/2008 - 7:00am

I am not my thesis, nor am I the personification of any committee or program I am involved with, and as hard as it may be for me to believe, I am not a cornerstone of the institution with which I am presently affiliated.

This may all sound silly, but I had to be reminded of this today. Good thing, too, as I was on the verge of another category IV panic attack.

With the threat of the end of the academic year looming ever closer, and the workload showing no sign that it cares to adhere to this time restraint, I found myself obsessing — yet again with the fact that things are not lining up as neatly as I managed to fool-heartedly convince myself that they are supposed to.

What's a girl to do?

In a word: disassociate.

My friend Chad, with whom I share many common traits, told me the best thing to do right now is to take emotion out of work. The thesis is just a paper — albeit a very long one. It is not a measure of me as a person. In 31 days, it will go from being the thing that consumed me for nine months to that thing keeping water rings off my coffee table.

Okay, maybe not that severe, but close. His point was that I need to get through the mire as best I can — focus on keeping the wheels turning efficiently and removing emotion from the process. While this approach may not work for everything, it will certainly get me through the end of the semester.

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