I’ve been separated nearly eight years. I’m engaged to my new partner, and we have a little boy together. I’ve changed my last name to his. I wear a wedding ring and a rock that continues to blow my mind.

But I’m still not divorced. Why?

When my ex and I first separated, I didn’t file for divorce because it was too expensive. Even done through paralegals with both parties’ agreement, it was going to cost a thousand bucks I didn’t have. When I did have the money, or knew I could save for it, I thought someday we might get back together — not because we were in love, but for the same reason we got married in the first place: It would be good for our son.

Now I think we’re all aware that we’re not getting back together. I’m making more money than I ever have in my life. There is no child support or custody or access to discuss. We even laugh that when we finally make it official, the only issue still unaddressed is who gets the Led Zeppelin albums. All of the practical arrangements were made years ago.

So what is my problem? The money is in the bank. The ex is ready to sign. The new in-laws are getting antsy about wedding bells. Why am I incapable of getting off my ass? Any insights?