We’re planning a vacation.

When I say “we,” you’d think I was talking about my immediate family: my little son, my big son, my fiancé. You’d be almost right. They’re definitely coming. We might even bring the nanny.

We’re also bringing my ex.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I get along with my ex. My fiancé gets along with my ex. We’re like three peas in a very weird and dysfunctional pod. (Any “Pod People” comments will be ignored.) When we got married, we were young and stupid and didn’t know any better. When we separated, we were still young, still stupid, and still didn’t know any better.

Now we get along well. He asks me for dating advice. I tell him he’s better than the useless women he dates. Like I said before, I’d totally give him a reference.

Anyway, I haven’t been to Disney since I was a kid. My ex has never been, and neither have the kids. We’re trying to decide between California and Florida. Bart, my ex, wants to go to the one with the best football team. Michael wants to go to the one with the best candy. I wouldn’t mind going to the one with the best, uh, Disney.

Does anyone have any advice?