There are a lot of men in my life who are telling me what to do.

I didn't realize it until recently. I was driving home from a session with my therapist and I started to wonder why I sought his approval so much. I mean, it's great that he's there for me to unload all my problems on, but it wasn't until that drive home that a light bulb came on in my head and I realized that just about everything my therapist says, I take to heart.

When he agrees with something I say, I'm pleased. When he disagrees with something I say, I start to wonder what I can do to fix my way of thinking.

I look for approval from my pastor a lot, too. We'll have conversations where a lot of the time my sentences end with, "...don't you think so?" or "...but what do you think?" Then when he tells me what he thinks, I mull it over for quite some time.

I look for approval from my husband. Even though he wholly ignores my writing I still mention some of my new jobs to him once in a while, hoping that he'll take a look on his own and tell me what he thinks. When something happens that I'm proud of — paying off a bill, getting a big project around the house finished, or whatever other good things I may do — I hope that my husband will give me a pat on the back for it.

How did I get so needy? It's not like I had an absent father growing up or anything like that. Is this something that most women just innately do?

When I was readying myself to leave my husband, all I really wanted was for someone to tell me it was the right decision. When my pastor told me he thought a trial separation might be a good idea, I felt empowered. When my therapist didn't like the idea, I began to rethink the whole thing. When my husband said that he didn't want to separate, it was like the wind was taken out of my sails.

What do I have to do to start thinking for myself?